Since I'm bound to make a complete idiot of myself on this post, I might as well go all the way. This is a recorded song of what I really feel right now. It's one of those moments where I need to write what I feel. And if you don't agree, I'm sorry, but you've been forewarned.
There's so much to figure out when you're alone. The idea is that someone is always there, someone will always love you and someone will always be there to protect you. When I recently got sick, I realized that unlike most people, I don't really have a lot going on for me. No classmates pinged me, no teacher was on the phone, figuring out what the heck was happening to me, no officemates or bosses were on the phone wondering if I needed an extra lung and yes, wait for it, no boyfriend was on the phone or at my doorstep wishing I was going to get better.
Over the past few days I've been in bed, praying to get better, I have had one constant contact and he's someone I used to be in love with. Somehow, somewhere, it sucks cos he's truly the only one that knew me, that really understood the inner machinations of my mind and somewhat took into consideration my happiness. No one really has tried to do that for me, and I was, still am, grateful.
It sucks not to have him in my life, but his life has no room for me now. I'm no one to him and he should be no one to me. I should find the next guy in my life and be a good girlfriend to someone else. Maybe in time, that person will know me, will make all types of effort to understand me and be with me.
"Take a look at me now, cos I'll still be standing here. You coming back to me is against the odds and it's a chance I have to face..."
