Harder, Better, Stronger...

From Daft Punk to my blog...
It's all about the bodies for this one. What made them really cute were those silver block boxes they had on their heads. Funny! Thanks to my son, Gaius for this. :)




And make it with your fingers...

Bringing Sexy Back....

My Disclaimer: Have you read a Jessica Zafra essay? Well, this is one of them. Self-mockery, to my belief, is the best form of flattery. To people who are faint-hearted, easily insulted and lack the sense of humor I need for my audience may very well just stop reading from this period on. Thanks!



I can't sleep. I've been up since 4 in the morning, trying to get some shut-eye. I can't believe that I'm still not asleep... So I'm cuddling with my laptop, wondering what the heck to write about when I chanced upon a sexy picture of Rose Byrne and Brad Pitt from the movie Troy.



I just sort of realized that the media is full of sexy images. And a girl needs to do everything to sort of catch up. I guess this is the reason why Anne Hathaway had to take her clothes off, or why we make such icons out of Pamela Anderson and Paris Hilton, both of which had their own homemade videos to sell online.

So, if we look up to these icons, and men worship them, how's a normal everyday 20-something clod to compare? I mean, I am definitely no Paris Hilton, nor am I near Pamela Anderson. I am most definitely not a Selma Blair, a Sienna Miller or Mandy Moore. I am an Alex Borstein in a world of Drew Barrymores and Demi Moores. Am I making any sense? I guess what I'm saying is I'm a fat bloated woman in a world of women who took the 60-day fab-abs challenge and won! Makes you want to rethink fitting into a nice dress for work tonight eh?

The thing is, I never really see myself as someone who should be worried about the way she looks. I am perfectly happy with the way I look. I am surrounded by beautiful, smart and darn right sexy women who sort of experience the same insecurity as I do. Some think that their tummy is bigger than their boobs, some think that their boobs are too small, some think that their thighs are as huge as Meralco posts. Honestly, the list goes on and on and on and on and on... and women tend to be as petty as possible. I remember a friend actually telling me that she'll sell her soul to have abs like one of the models we worked with on a photo shoot. I was an apprentice stylist then, and when I was indeed dressing Miss Patches (people who actually style other people, I think you know what I mean...), she bluntly told me "Pangit ng skin ko noh?! Buti pa yung skin mo, ang puti-puti..."

So what am I about to say... Yeah, somehow, for some oddball reason, when you look at someone else, there's always something of them you wish you had. I want to have Rose Byrne's face. I want to have Demi Moore's figure. I want to have Mandy Moore's eyes. I want to have Hayden Panettiere's skin. I want to be as cool as Avril Lavigne. And of course, when all else fails, I want to have Pamela Anderson's body. So, what am I doing to achieve any of these things? Nothing.

I think there's just an endless plethora of things to work on as a person. I can have my teeth whitened and have a tummy tuck... I can probably go for an overhaul. But you know what, no... I believe that in some weird forsaken tribes in the Amazon, women like me, bring the sexy back to the tribe and I rule... :)

Single Me Out

OK, so here I am, doing my work, when I came across this log from an American trainer I supposedly should be working with. I totally wouldn't mind if she complains about my way of handling the lesson, or if my student complained, however, she concluded that I was a bad trainer because I didn't send out a complete report.

The procedure goes like this. We call the student for 10 minutes and see if the student is available for the lesson. We try so many times that our hands get calloused on the dial pad of our phones and we have to log everything that happens in the lesson. Now, should we have a student who won't be able to make it to their lessons, we mark it as a NO SHOW. It kind of leaves everything behind... a template that you may not have edited on account of preparing for the next lesson, a series of logs that you copied and pasted into the NO SHOW page for proper identification. Apparently, American Woman was not informed of such things and she automatically assumed that I sent a report to a client that was just a template.

What bothered me is how blatantly I can be singled out by this woman. Apparently, she has no idea that people can actually read lesson logs and that people can and will see. If she has any knowledge of the software, she would have indeed seen that I will be the next teacher for this student. She did this to aggravate me? Perhaps. She did this to throw me off balance? I guess so. Did she succeed? No. Because I am a bit bothered by the lack of information she was given from the very start. The poor woman knows scrap about the software she has to use. What a pity!

Karma

Just a realization... people really tend to hurt you over and over again, so long as they're not the ones being stepped on. They have no sensitivity, no ethics and not an ounce of moral fiber in their beings. I wish that they never have to experience this pain. Because if they do, they'll cave...

The Wedding

So, get this, while I'm on the subject of marriage, let's talk a bit about weddings. After all, every girl has planned on walking down the aisle with a huge white fluffy gown adorned with all things shining and shimmering.

My Disclaimer - I ain't getting married, you fools! Just wondering what it would be like to plan a wedding. In case you didn't read the last post, I am planning to be unmarried for a very long time.

If I was to get married next year, well, I'm a bit superstitious. I want it to have something to do with the number 8. Call it my mental Escherism coming out, or perhaps, my Mobius strip obsession. Whatever it is, I want to be on August 8, 2008. Exactly 11 days before my 27th birthday. I want it to be a garden or a beach wedding. Either way is just fine, with a nondenominational ceremony. I want only family, close friends and some relatives there. I kind of figured that it's hard to filter who you can invite to these things. Invite a colleague and the whole office goes with them, so it's pretty easy to just invite close friends and zero acquaintances. It's easier and more practical that way. Besides, you don't want people to not remember you and your significant other after the wedding. I want people who will be attending my wedding to feel what I'm feeling, cry when the waterworks start, revel in the food, no matter how weird chicken tastes like if it's prepared kosher, and would literally walk with me down the aisle. I don't want acquaintances criticizing my gown, the bridesmaids' dresses, my groom's muffled whisper of "I do" as he willingly (or unwrttingly) accepts the demise of his young bachelor life. I have my "well-meaning" relatives to do that for me, thank you very much!

I tried an online wedding calendar from Elegala. It said that if I was to get hitched this year at exactly 08-08-08, I need to do this:

Upon Engagement
Talk with your fiance and all parents or family members you choose to involve regarding budget, style, size of event, location, time of year and attendees. Our Personalized Budget can help you decide how to allocate your expenses.
Determine whether or not you would like to hire an event planner to assist in all the research and planning details. (your other option is a partial, or day–of coordinator—which can be hired at a later date).
Start thinking about the overall style and theme of your reception. Browse our Reception planning guide for ideas and advice.
Begin researching and visiting reception sites. Our Local Resources section will help you determine the local facilities that meet your needs.
Set the date and locations; reserve the ceremony site, reception site, and accommodations for out–of–town guests.
Book your hotel room for your wedding night and pre wedding night.
Select your wedding party attendants.
Send your engagement notice to your local newspaper. Be sure to get multiple copies of the newspaper in order to send to grandparents and family members.

By December 15, 2007 or sooner:
Start researching and booking your wedding vendors.
Research these major planning details, determine your style and vision and start creating the perfect event —
   Catering (if not provided by your reception venue)
   Ceremony (if he/she is not already part of your ceremony site)
   Flowers
   Music
   Photography
   Cakes (if not provided by your reception venue or caterer)
   Dresses
   Stationery & Invitations
   Transportation
   Favors & Gifts
Interview and begin booking your vendors. Concentrate on booking major vendors such as the caterer, officiant, florist, musicians photographer and baker first. Visit our Local Resources section for a list of the top wedding vendors in your area.

Between December 15, 2007 and February 6, 2008:
Start shopping for your wedding gown, bridesmaids' dresses and accessories. Visit our Local Resources section for bridal boutiques in your area.
Research the honeymoon. (This is a great task for the groom!)
Create gift registries at your local department stores. Many registries are also available online for those guests purchasing gifts out of town. Visit our Registry section for helpful advice.
Discuss plans for any bridal showers, engagement or bachelorette parties with your close friends and relatives.
Schedule the ceremony rehearsal, rehearsal dinner and departure brunch.
Begin gathering names and addresses and compile your guest list.
Shop for wedding invitations and stationery. Access recommended stationers in our Local Resources section.

Between February 6, 2008 and March 8, 2008
Order your wedding dress
Decide on your bridesmaids dresses and obtain ordering instructions and deadlines from the store or boutique.
Finalize your guest list and send "Save the Date" cards with hotel information to guests. (remember that everyone who receives a save–the–date will be invited to the wedding)
Call your facility coordinator or catering director to schedule the menu tasting.
If preferred, hire an event planner to assist with final details and "day of" procedures. Review our portfolio of your area's top planners in our Local Resources section.

By April 18, 2008
Reserve the honeymoon and book flights. (remember passports if needed)
Book all wedding day transportation. Access your area's best in our Local Resources section.
Choose and book a hair and make–up artist for your wedding day. Visit our Local Resources section for recommendations.
Reserve the groom's and attendants' tuxedos at a local tuxedo shop.
Shop for favors, attendant gifts and items for welcome baskets. Find stores near you in our Local Resources section.
Order invitations.
Schedule the bridesmaids' luncheon.
Order wedding rings.
If preferred, sign up for dance lessons. Find instructors in your area in our Local Resources section.
Purchase any last accessories—stockings, lingerie, etc.
Make appointment for first dress fitting.
If preferred, hire a calligrapher and submit wording information so he/she can begin envelopes. Access calligraphers in your area in our Local Resources section.

By May 29, 2008
Finalize and confirm with your florist all flower arrangements, bouquets, and boutonnieres.
Finalize and confirm special song selections and play lists with ceremony and reception musicians.
Finalize and confirm requested shots and with your photographer.
Plan all ceremonial events with the clergy member, including any music, readings and vows.
Write your wedding vows and any speeches if you wish. Consult our Readings and Speeches section for inspiration.
Shop for honeymoon outfits.
Mail invitations, being sure to use proper postage.
Call your wedding coordinator, catering director, and reception facility manager with an estimated guest count.

By June 8, 2008
Print programs for the ceremony.
Mail rehearsal/rehearsal dinner invitations.
Pick up the wedding rings and double check the fit.
Try out hairstyle and make–up.
Log RSVP's as they come in for meal choices.
Send wedding announcement to local newspaper.
Contact the wedding coordinator about hotel room blocks, confirm reservations for appropriate guests.
Assemble visitor gift baskets to place in the hotel rooms of those traveling from out–of–town. Remember to include directions from the hotel to the ceremony and reception site.
Schedule final dress fitting. Make sure bridesmaids have done the same.
Get name change forms if you plan to change your name.

30 Days Before
Most room blocks will no longer be held after this date. Be sure that all visitors have confirmed their room reservations.
Begin preparing place cards and table cards.
Apply for marriage license. Different states have different policies. You will get a marriage license in the county in which you are married, regardless of where you and your fiance actually live.
Confirm schedule, arrival times and any other arrangements with all vendors. It may be helpful to fax directions, contact numbers and the day's itinerary to all vendors.
Confirm honeymoon reservations: including flights, hotel accommodations, and any rental cars.
Contact wedding coordinator, catering manager, and facility manager with initial meal choices.

10 Days Before
Make final facility rental payment.
Confirm tuxedo arrangements.
Begin packing for honeymoon.
Pick up your dress and break in your shoes.
Confirm rehearsal arrangements with bridal party.
Contact wedding coordinator, catering manager, and facility manager with final guest count estimate.
Schedule time to drop off favors, place cards, seating chart etc.

3 Days Before
Make a check–list of final things to remember.
Drop off favors, place cards, seating chart etc.
Contact wedding coordinator, catering manager, and facility manager with final guest count, entree choices, and clear any outstanding payments.

1 Day Before
Complete packing for honeymoon, prepare to check into your hotel.
Take some time to relax at some point during the day, and think about something besides the wedding.
Drink plenty of fluids—especially in the summer—and avoid sodium.
Attend the rehearsal ceremony and rehearsal dinner.
Get to bed early and get some rest.

Day of the Wedding
Eat a good breakfast with family and friends.
Enjoy any pre–wedding primping.
Put wedding announcements in the mail.
Relax and enjoy your day.

Holy Heck! That's a lot of work! Or as some of my students would say, that is a lot of jobs! Imagine doing all of that in less than a year? The engagement itself sounds pretty tiring as is...

Okay, well, here's how twisted I am. This is my dream wedding. Something that could and might happen 5 years from now. I'm just documenting this so li'l ol' me don't forget it.

The Possible Venues

This is from Fernwood Garden. It's a nice snapshot of their Courtyard Garden at night. Like I mentioned. It's either a garden or a beach. So in case it's a slightly chilly August, I'd like the wedding to be here.



If it was a beach, I want to try something private and wonderful. This seems like a really good place to start. It's a private haven named Tali Beach.



The Possible Floral Arrangements

This is really important, any wedding would be lost without this. I have always loved flowers. For some reason, I never really get any. Oh well. I guess you need to be practical nowadays. This is a combination of magnolias and gardenias. I wanted raindrop rosebushes too, but this is the best I can come up with. It grows throughout the whole year. I want this on my bouquet and other parts of the garden/beach as I get married.



This is also a really cool arrangement. It's magnolias and lilies and lisianthus. It seems pretty expensive though.



The Possible Wedding Cake

Well, I would like it to be chocolate all over, with Marzipan coated all over it. Tiered, so I can keep the first tier of the cake for our first year anniversary. That is the tradition, right? Quite honestly, I don't think this is "possible", I really want my wedding cake in the future to be like this.



The Possible Wedding Dress

Ah... the dress is after all, for the bride, and they say that is her day... so...



Ok, now I'm beat. Wedding is really hard work eh? Oh dear God, thank heavens I'm lazy as a rock.

Unmarried

Yesterday afternoon, I woke up to go to my second job. Yeah, didn't my Blogger profile tell you I was a hyphenate? I am tutoring a blind kid. We mainly talk. It's kind of useless to help him with his subjects unless I can read Braille. I basically prepare for his lessons brushing up on Meteorology, Computer (think of your former subject in High School) and a bit of Science (Yes, the all-powerful Physics for Dummies came to be super useful!).

Anyhow,the blind kid's name is Frank. He's 13 and getting giddy with all the crushes he has in school. It's kind of funny. The first time he told me he had a crush on someone, I, in full faux pas moment, uttered "Huh? How can you see what she looks like?!". He has supposedly fell in love with his 54-year old GMRC (Good Manners and Right Conduct) teacher, which for me spells trouble. Apparently, he falls in love with smells. His teacher must have some weird kick ass perfume to make him fall head over heels because he can't stop talking about her, much to my terror. He gave her a fruit basket the other day, and by God, the old lady's cashing in on her student's blatant admiration.

I just kind of realized that it was wrong. I told Frank. I didn't want to sound like a mother but I kind of scolded him. I was pretty straightforward, saying that it wasn't right. She is as old as your mother, and you are better off finding a girl your age. He just laughed and asked me how old I was, and how old my husband is. I said that I'm not married and I'm twice his age. If he thinks I'm old (Trust me, this kid thinks I'm ancient!), then all the more his teacher, who's like 3 years more than twice my age. I actually told him not to put too much attention to it and start concentrating on other things, like his studies. Then he started asking me questions, like what it's like to have a girlfriend and why are girls so hard to deal with. I started explaining different angles and told him that in time, he will have a relationship with the right girl and understand all these things. I tried redirecting the topic to our lesson, this time, we were talking about English Idioms and how to use them. He kept wanting to go back to the topic. I indulged the young boy and got the shock of my life when he told me "When I marry, all the girl needs to do is to take care of our children. I don't like children but I think I'll be forced to have them."

I gave him the vocabulary word "chauvinistic", and explained why he should never ever say that the only place for a girl is the house and to take care of children. He then mentioned "Is that why you're not married? You don't want to stay at home and have children?".

Quite honestly, I do see myself married, with children. In fact, it is a lifelong dream to have a family of my own. I want to have a husband I can cook for, and can make love to. I want a lover and a partner. I want someone to fight for, and someone who will fight for me.

It's kind of weird because I have to endure tons of reunions with supposedly well-meaning relatives and family friends that ask me why I'm still not married. And now, a 13-year old kid is asking me the same question. Yeesh, lay off me, will you all? I am bound to be married. Maybe it would take a whole lifetime until the time is right, but it will happen, somehow.

So yes, I still remain unmarried. I will be unmarried for a long time from now and it doesn't matter. I know that a piece of paper and a church blessing does not a good partnership make. I've seen marriages go down the drain just because the couple rushed things, and ended with some weird commitment after the feeling's gone. I want something nurtured, something that will stand the test of time and the test of individual differences. I want something that is deep and real, and I'm working on it. So quit asking and just support me.

Infinity

It has always been postulated that the answer to life's questions can be figured out using a mathematical equation. A highly complicated one, if you ask me. It goes beyond triangulation of quadratic equations and breaks even the Mobius Strip. I'm guessing it has all the weird snake signs (What I call the Calculus symbol for integration, the elongated S?) and the function goes beyond negative infinity (yes, people, it exists).

People somehow define infinity as a number, actually, it's a mathematical law that numbers never cease, and that anywhere in this universe, you're bound to deal with numbers. Mauk Escher (MC Escher) even made tons of money trying to depict the concept of infinity. And he uses the Mobius strip to somehow capture the idea that something is never broken, and that it all exists as one whole band that is 3 dimensional and unbreakable.

If life is somehow taken as one whole piece, does that mean that life continues on and on without you knowing it? If the Mobius strip is the model for time and space, then space and time is in fact, or exists in one plane and gets contorted by the planar factors that destroys or nurtures it.

Should this be the truth about time and space, then that means someone can contort it to make it go back in time and/or move forward to the future.

If time could be bent, so can space. Imagine the time it would take for you to reach Uranus from Earth if this was true. No more traveling via in light years, but in a matter of seconds.

If this was true... Anyone can live forever and jump from one time to another. Change the course of history. Alter the future. Manage the past.

Alas, the concept of Infinity is true. But the concept of time and space following it may not be.

We've heard it all before. We always say that life is a vicious cycle. We always refer to our lives as something we have experienced before. We keep holding on to the past. Looking for answers. Hoping to change it to alter the future. We always learn our mistakes at the very end and hope to fix it before it turns into one whole ugly mess.

I'm not perfect. I've done things I'm not very proud of... But I know how to move on. I know how to fix my life and the way I deal with it.

Answers can't be found in the past. It can be found in the person you've become because of the past. Life isn't cyclical anyhow. It's linear. You can't expect to be borne of the same mother after you die. Whether you believe in recycled souls or not, you choose the destiny you have and in this destiny, that's where you need to find the truth. Infinity exists only when you know that it's the same situation with the same person, with no changes and with no external factors. But life isn't a controlled environment, is it?

The future you have is the future you make.