Use Somebody

I am all alone on a Sunday night. It's rainy, cool, soft and depressing... I am watching the TV downstairs with my laptop on a pillow. I got so bored of playing with my pets on FB... I want to rest but I am too wired to do that. I'm waiting for HBO to show The Fast and the Furious. Watching Vin Diesel and treating him like eye candy won't hurt so badly today. 

Jeoff is in the US, visiting some relatives. He'll probably be back Monday night. I really, really wish he is in Toronto, so I can at least call him and talk to him. Honestly, I have been daydreaming that he will be knocking on my front door, white roses and all. It's a little crazy, I know. It's my dream of becoming Meg Ryan - some guy breathlessly whispering how much he loves me, rain pouring on us, and we passionately end in a fiery kiss. It's kind of crazy to sometimes want a prince to ride his white horse and sweep my off my feet. I bet no one really thinks of that. Oh but I do, sometimes. I really sometimes wish that he would actually surprise me - be home, be with me, in my house, in my arms and breathe the same air I am breathing. Fat chance - we do't have enough money and he can't just take a vacation...Oh well... Let's be realistic... 

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a boyfriend who lives here, in Manila. Someone who I can talk to over the phone without worrying about local call charges, someone who can very well ride a cab in the middle of the night when I feel like having ice cream at 4 in the morning, someone who can go to church with me on Sundays and can enjoy a good family meal with my folks and someone who I can make love to - physically, not just say it, but really do it... someone that can kiss me, hold my hands and really gaze into my eyes... Would we last? Would we enjoy each others' company? 

People don't really understand the machinations of a woman in a long distance relationship. People have always told me that LDRs fail. And people who come of LDRs tend to be bitter and fall into the same cycle. I have known so many women who have had their hearts broken cos they let their men go into war, work or another woman's arms a hundred miles away. I myself sometimes don't know how I stay sane and alright... It seems like my whole life (24 years, thank you very much!), I have waited for someone who will love me right, and love me truly. Now that I found him, he has to be snatched away from me by fate. It is immensely painful, almost unbearable especially on night like this when it's raining, dark and cold...

In an Octopus' Garden

We would be warm below the storm
In our little hideaway beneath the waves
Resting our head on the sea bed
In an octopus' garden near a cave

It's been quite some time since I updated this blog. Several things have happened.

Michael Jackson, King of Pop, is dead. I grew up listening to MJ. I was 9 0r 10 when I first saw MJ in his Thriller video, and I was terrified. I then saw so much more from MJ - Bad, Billie Jean and I was enthralled by how he sang and danced. I remember thinking that he looks like Erika Eleniak from Baywatch when he did the Black and White video. I also remember wanting to get tickets for a concert he had here in the Philippines. I also stayed up late to watch his documentary as done by Martin Bashir (who has recanted, what a d-bag!). A lot of people still look up to this dude despite the eccentricity. Oh well, we love the music, we love the icon, and we all love the stories... MJ will be missed - I will miss him.

Perez Hilton has claimed that Will I Am from The Black Eyed Peas has hit him. One gay dude calling a black guy a "fag" hence the retaliation from Will I Am's posse. Tsk tsk... Gays discriminating against their own... what has the world come to?!

Cory Aquino has been bed-ridden for days in the hospital. I just saw some ads about people joining a mass in the Sts Peter and Paul Chapel in Makati with satellite churches all over the Philippines holding a mass for her healing. I remember Kris tearfully (in her colegiala accent) thanking the masses for their support for her "mum". For some reason, because of Kris I guess, I feel very little sympathy for Cory. True, she supposedly changed the history of the Philippines but as of late, she has been like a pendulum, swinging from one side to another in terms of politics. I do hate people suffering, but for some reason I don't feel the urge to light a candle to wish for Cory's health. Maybe if I know for a fact that my future kids don't have to suffer paying hiked up taxes that her family and their cronies enjoy so much of.

Well, on to me...

I am dead tired. SDM hired a Korean guy that isn't technical AT ALL so I have to train him on the basics - even saving files or like shortcust like Ctrl-A or Ctrl-C and Ctrl-V. Ohhhh dear! I am feeling the stress, and the pain and yes, the need to make the Korean dude ready for the floor but OMG! I doubt that he will be.

I am scheduled to go back to school tomorrow. Back to SSHS (yes, HS was a bit of hell for me...) but this time for a really great cause - I am Ela's godmother. I got her a wonderful watch (the one for kids) from Blueberry which is a local brand for watches. I also got her a 100% cotton quilt and bolster. I got her a blue set though. I wanted her to appreciate all colors, I think I never see that kid in any other color but pink. LOL!

I woke up crying earlier. I feel so bad. I can't even begin to tell people about it. I'm so depressed - just ridiculously depressed. I am beyond words - beyond sadness. I wish I had more time to explore my feelings but I really don't. I had to get up and just put on my shirt and jeans to get something from the mall before it closes. I'm so alone. I do feel alone. This is something no one probably wants to think of, but when it comes down to what I do, where I go, I do feel ridiculously alone. I shop alone, cook alone, eat dinner alone, I primarily sit down only with my thoughts. Wish I can just release all these feelings.

I miss being part of a couple. I really miss holding someone's hand and looking into someone's eyes. I miss him.

Maddening World

Lately, I've been feeling incredibly sad. I don't really know why or what for, just have been deeply sad. Like a deep, hollow feeling that I can't shake off. I don't really understand what I am going through, maybe this is what they call "organic depression", I don't really know for sure.

Don't get me wrong, I know how to laugh. Just that, it's kinda hard to pretend that nothing's wrong..

Lateralus

This song is for the one I love...
Keep it up and take it one at a time.
I love you...

I listened to this when I saw this once in a pool of songs I have. I can't believe how powerful they are...

Black then white are all i see in my infancy.
red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me.
lets me see there is so much more and
beckons me to look thru to these infinite possibilities.
as below, so above and beyond, I imagine
drawn outside the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

I Have a Music Video! LOL!

I was surfing the net a few months ago. I stumbled upon this nice site called Singsnap. This is where people record songs and if you're brave enough, even your face as you sing. :)

Here's one attempt at being Vonda Shepard. You might recognize the song from Ally McBeal.

My attempt at self-mockery... and another one from The Steps. It was a song that Yogi and I were discussing the other day. Supposedly when you listen to the song, it's for mistresses, I still don't know what it is for, but now I know it's supposed to be a duet. Boy, the song was fast! Before, it was something to do while I was waiting for Jeoff to come online for our weekly Skype chat. Now, it's a regular thing. He was the first to hear me singing through this site. Yes, yes, I know I'm no Mariah Carey but hey, I like singing. Gives me something to do... LOL!

Pardon the little promotion, it's because I went out with Chloe the other night. Just some random dinner and a little drink, last Friday. We went to Pink Pepper in Rob Place Midtown and were asked to sing in front of the audience. LOL! It would have been fun except that we were both not dressed for the part and I had a very stuffy nose.

We both promised to go back and sing a few tunes with the band. It was a warm reception and they had mashed potatoes to die for! I love it! :) We actually spent almost PhP1,300.00 not because of the drinks but because of the delicious food we had. Everything was money well-spent. The band wasn't half-bad too. Everyone was pretty comfortable with the songs, and I knew every song they played. It was fairly amazing!

Loving

It's funny how marriage changes things. It seems to do so in my posse, my click, my circle of friends, if you will.

Irish, my bestfriend, just got married.

I treat her like a sister, like an older, wiser sister though she's not older. It seems like her experience has brought me a guide. I tell her everything - the boyfriend woes, the career challenges, the daily ups and downs of being part of an interracial family - the list goes on.

I love her wedding, I simply do. I couldn't wait until she gets back from Macau to tell me all about her honeymoon, about her great time with her husband. I surely miss her.

It seems like the wedding I saw was straight out of a dream. It felt so amazing to see two people being united in front of the people they love and the people they care for. I can't believe how much I cried during the ceremony. It was so beautiful. It was just plain great. Someday, I hope that I will have the same ceremony - not the flowers or the Tiffany chairs, or the ball gowns or the arch - I just really want to see me sharing my life with the one I love.

We're grown up now. One has a kid, one has a boyfriend that is going to be a consulate, one is in Taiwan, working as a personal trainer, and one just got married. The clique that I had in high school is now all grown up... And I don't really know what I am yet. So I decided to make a list to remind me of who I was and who I have become...

• Corporate Training Coordinator
• daughter to Mom and Pop
  
• sister to my insufferable brother
  
• girlfriend to Jeoff for 3 years and running
• bestfriend to Cym, Irish, Chloe and Mary
• friend to people whom I have worked with in PeopleSupport, HTMT, iTi Consulting and now Merlin
• SDI-Certified Trainer - the only independent trainer in the entire Philippines who can handle an SDI course
• major micromanager
  
• events planner for Merlin
  
• magazine writer for "Moms and Babies" and "Health Today"
  
• erstwhile stylist and make-up artist for magazines
  
• big fan of Blue, my 1-year old "son" who now has a 73.5 GB of memory thanks to his "toys" and is amazingly white and creamy - just the wonderful color I want my laptop to be...
  
• avid reader of all books that I can get my hands on - now reading "Sophie's Choice"
  
• lover of all movies and TV series animated - The Simpsons, The Family Guy, American Dad, Sons of Butchers, Southpark, Spongebob, Fairly Odd Parents, anything by Nickelodeon...
  
• passionate about mysteries and investigator shows on TV - The Kill Point, Burn Notice, CSI, NCIS
• artsy-fartsy teenager back then and now still appreciating art
  
• hater of all things elitist

I have come a long way. I used to be a chubby kid who only wanted out of high school because no one appreciated the way I am. My friends used to be high school girls as well whom enjoy a great McDonald's sundae cone in the middle of the afternoon heat. Time does go by fast, and sets you off for an adventure.

I'm glad we're grown up...

Dr. Wilson is In

I could not relate more to this guy. I am Dr. Wilson, in the flesh, except that I am no doctor and I do not have an Amber. I do have a Dr. House though. And this is the dynamics of their relationship...

Dr. House, a brilliant yet slightly socially inept doctor, is a good friend of Dr. Wilson's. They spend most weekends together. They lived in Dr House's apartment for some time when he was kicked out of his own home by his then 3rd wife. Dr. Wilson is an expert in Oncology whilst Dr. House led the team of Diagnostic Medicine (no such department in local hospitals, unfortunately). Nonetheless, the two remained friends, through and through. While House berated everything in Wilson's life - marriage, family, practice, honesty, integrity, loyalty, civility - he remained steadfastly loyal as a friend. Wilson, of course, would be as nice as possible and save House' ass from being fired every time he messes up.

It's unbelievable how these two completely opposite people would end up being friends. Yet they are, through and through...

Dr. House just quit. It seems like the end of an era for the hospital. He got so fed up with the system and how people there supposedly don't care about targets and statistics. I think he chooses to care so much about other things because he doesn't want to care about the things he should care about. It's hard to be his friend, but it's harder to not be his friend. I guess there's still that little idea that I can save the world. The messianic me that tries to surface every now and then... Yet I know he's equally as brilliant and as valuable. It never felt good saving his ass every now and then, it always felt right. I must have been one helluva good lawyer a few lifetimes ago. It was always an idea - a feeling that somehow - I should do something good for him because the universe owes him for all the bad things that had happened to him. However, you do teach people and the universe, for that matter, how to treat you. You program yourself to be who and how you want to be. You decide who you should be and what should matter to you.

I was talking with Jay over IM the other day... He is just a hater, he says. Well, he doesn't hate. He just perceives that he hates.

Semi-Charmed Kind of Life

Ok, it's been a while since I've updated this blog. I've been writing in my journal. But I guess this blog is something I should also update every now and then. I just finished a new starter training for Merlin. Oh gawd, whoever said just having a few trainees is easy was seriously wrong. It takes so much for me to be able to facilitate a class for two people. Especially if they're incredibly lacking experience in IT-related processes. Merlin supports this complicated process that I haven't really mastered. Why am I teaching it? Cos I need to... Come on, no one masters centripetal force in theory, yet it's being taught in high school, right? Same concept. I never claimed to be a master of anything anyhow.

It's been a slightly charmed weekend. I just learned that I had psychic powers. Don't laugh. It's eerily true. I was in the office, minding my business when this overwhelming feeling of being online on YM came upon me. It was weird. Don't ask me why. I popped Jeoff's window open , eventhough I knew that there was a snowball's chance in hell that he'd be online and just typed a "mwah". And he replied. It says that Jeoff is offline. Turns out that he was appearing invisible to all his friends and just got online too. It happened again when I called him up and he just left the office, ready to call me. Coincidence? I don't know. It was weird and it boggled me for the whole week. Can people actually read you? And do I possess that power to intuitively feel that someone is about to call me? It's relatively weird. I know people connect in a psychic way but my analytical mind can not get over the fact that it shouldn't be the case. It was probably just sheer coincidence...

I'm ready to teach SDI next week. I have three external trainees from AIG and Infonxx. Oh well. Hope I do well. I just don't want to screw up. I better prepare my game face this weekend. I should appear as someone who is technical, and well-versed with ITIL principles. Ah, you know what, screw it, I'm gonna be me. Take it or leave it.

I just had a lovely dinner with Cym, one of my oldest friends from way back Kindergarten (I kid you not!). We were classmates in Kindergarten, until I was in UP Diliman. Well, we'd always have lunch together. She was taking up Interior Design and was always scheduled in the Architecture Building (aka Arki) while I was slaving away in Didactics in Palma Hall (aka AS - Arts and Sciences). Now she's married with a kid named Ela, and well... it's been a fun ride. We talked about everything under the covers - este sun pala. Haha! Nah, it's just nice to talk with someone who understands life after singlehood and isn't afraid to spare you wiser counsel.

I just bought a new anti-ageing cream from Nivea. I bought the one that promises to "erase fine lines" and "renew skin cells" as if no other product has ever promised that before. Quite honestly, I just need something that my skin can tolerate. Especially now that I am almost 30 and I'm not getting any younger. I can literally feel my whole body sagging. Take for instance my headlights, Daisy and Dolly (yes, you can give them names) which used to be perky when I was in my early twenties. Now, I absolutely NEED something that lifts and separates - or else. Well, not to mention the fact that now, I make sure that I use firming cream everyday for them. Ok, don't ask me why. I'm just weird about my skin. I know that smokers have a 75-80% chance of developing skin cancer that is why I'm extra careful. Skin cancer can attack someone who is almost 30 while lung cancer usually strikes at the age of 40 and above. I'm not being vain or anything. I just sincerely want to protect myself. Also, after the onslaught of my skin lesion episode last May (thank heavens it's over and yes it left me scarred for life), I swore never to take my skin for granted again.

I'm losing the battle of the bulges. I think eating rice after 12MN should be outlawed. :) Well, I only have myself to blame. Beginning today, I swear to minimize the intake of rice so when Jeoff gets here, I can actually be presentable to people and not be the porker that I am. Hehe.

The Black and White Affair is almost ready. I just need Matt to view Opus first. I told him I'd take him there, but he opted to go alone. Yeah, kinda weird if someone sees us together in a resto in Metrowalk. I actually wanted to ask him for a raise (I'm not asking for a hundred thousand or so, I was just going to ask for an additional 5 K or so... )And if I take him someplace public, he won't be able to react negatively. Haha!

Well, looks like this is it for me. I'm going to catch some shut eye and relax because I think my body has went into hyperdrive the past few days. I've never been so tired. Oh well, time to sleep. ;)

Let Go

Pretty funny eh? It seems that for some reason, all I can think about is this weekend and how comfortable I want to be. Maybe because I have been teaching for so long. I haven't had a break since August. I think I'm starting to really lose my voice. I feel my voice getting hoarse and weird everytime I try to raise the pitch... especially when I'm mad. I should probably quit smoking, I'm starting to sound like Demi Moore. Haha!

It's funny how everything seems to be in place right now. I guess I badly need a Zen moment, ergo, I'm trying to create my Zen moment. I am starting to wake up earlier than normal, only to enjoy a cup of coffee and relax with. It's funny how abnormal that sounds, but I sincerely remember waking up with only 30 minutes to spare 'til work starts. Now, I sincerely intend to have two hours of lounging before I do anything stressful, like wait for a cab or take the train to work. I guess I'm learning that as you get older, you somehow have to be less stressed or fine lines start to appear. I guess I'm learning to let go of some things. Oh well...

helter-skelter

Alright, so SDM actually threw me off this entire week. It was one hell of a tumultuous week. I had a very tiring week of training and some more thanks to her idiotic ideas.

She asked me to do a two-week training for our multilingual speakers. It was pretty bad. Supposedly, it was because she wanted me to attend SDI, since it was an in-house training to begin, with Chari at the helm, shouldn't there be a way to change it? The training plan had been four weeks all along, and she wanted someone to compress training... Now she is washing her hands off the incredibly stupid thing of compressing training after she promised me that the TLs will be taking care of the hands-on training of the newbies. She claims that it wasn't her idea to begin with. Argh! Talk about being incredibly two-faced! She even asked for Yong's help to assist in the hands-on training of the new starters I'm handling now. She probably thinks I'm incompetent when she's the one who still doesn't understand what the hell is her role in the company.

She fails to inform her TLs on time. Check out the email below:

From: SDM
Sent: 10 September 2008 19:49
To: Me
Cc: HR Manager; Director
Subject: RE: IELTS Assessment

Hi Meg,

I have already informed the TLs about this, though as discussed, we can only have JD and Rachelle join your review because of their schedule. JD will be coming in at 2-11pm starting next week until the end of September. Rota has been updated. We can deal with Sheila later on.

Kind regards,

SDM

When I got the email from Rachelle, one of the TLs...

From: Rachelle the TL
Sent: 12 September 2008 14:45
To: Me
Subject: RE: IELTS Assessment

Hi Meg,

I know we are going to take the IELTS exam but wasn’t aware of the of the training.

For September 15, I have a service review meeting with (bleep) at 2pm, so maybe I’ll be join around 2:30 pm. Depends on how long the call will be, hopefully not much issue so I can join earlier.

Thanks,

Rachelle

So there you are, she claims that she has done something only for me to realize that nothing has been done from her end. Her people aren't my people and I'm thankful that I have no direct reports to worry about. Thanks goodness that the director was copied and I was able to make sure that she can't manipulate me anymore. I keep asking her to document her "directives" from here on forward. That way, I can cover my ass in the future.

She also claims that I'm not professional enough because she thinks that I don't know how to multi-task. The effect of which can be catastrophic if I train more people in more hours than I am supposed to. This seems ridiculous but yes, teaching is a very difficult job. Throw in eager-beavers in class and the dumb blond wannabes with the older but supposedly technical gramps and grams, plus the classic apathetic "rockers" and you've got a misanthrope trainer in the making. Yes, I dedicate the eight working hours to my trainees. As if it matters. Training really was designed that way. She claims that I said something like I'm gonna need clones if the amount of work stands to be the same all the time. Ok, I said that to the HR Manager, who is a friend, and that comment was not addressed towards her.

Argh! Screw her. Mr. Director should kick her out! Bonus though, cos she keeps on messing up, the entire European division of the company we're supporting has started to complain about her. Let's see if she can still save her ass if she gets confronted with all the issues starting to plague the HD.

Helter-skelter... everything's coming down fast... everything's going down fast.

I swear, it's like the director hired Charles Manson as our boss or something. The difference is, Charles Manson still had some form of charisma. She doesn't really have that much charisma... I think everyone in the office has a point against her.

Kissing You

I can't wait to kiss him... and hold him so tightly. I guess this is what happens when you don't see the one you love for the longest time. Every minute feels like a year... And it feels like a lifetime...

I seriously wish the days would just fly by. For the meantime, I carry on as he carries on. We pretend we're both okay and we can function well. I feel him yearning for me. I know I yearn for him too. It's ridiculous to wish that I can be with him now. I would find myself crying in the middle of the night, clutching my pillow so tightly, wishing it was him. I don't think I'm depressed. I wouldn't be able to work if I was... It's just that there's this incredibly huge need to be with him, to be holding his hand and hearing his heart beat next to mine. There's this hunger for him to be with me.

It's Friday and I'm in Love

I was teaching a new batch of starters this week. I'm really tired and so, I think I have every right to miss out on blogging. Well, it's a weekend, I just got home from TriNoMa and I had a really great time. I thought I might as well tell everyone about the week that was.

Aug 18th
Monday was pretty darned hectic. It was Aileen's turn to do the whole orientation and I let her take her time instead of hurriedly going through 49 slides of HR Policies. She's basically reading the entire handbook to the new starters. The new starters included one German-speaking, two Japanese-speaking and three English-speaking analysts. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I'm training the United Colors of Benetton. The German speaker is incredibly hard to deal with. Oh my gawd, he can be such a pain in the butt. Oh well, I'll be moving on to my next batch right after anyhow. Screw it.
I went home at around 1:30 AM and waited until 5 AM. I called Jeoff up. I reminded him that it was my birthday and I deserved some time with him. Haha! Talk about manipulation! He was pretty out of it when I called. He was taking a nap. I said something like "Hun, aren't you going to greet me? It's my birthday!" He goes "Is it? You're too excited about your birthday..." He was trailing off when I also realized that it was just the 18th in Canada.

Aug 19th
Tuesday was pretty okay. It was hectic and I was teaching them the Support Portal and Customer Service. I am a bit behind schedule. It was my birthday and Merlin Policy dictates that I should treat everyone. Thank goodness Roy's birthday was on the 15th. He was the one who ordered from Buddy's and I paid for half the bill. We had amazing Pancit Lucban. We bought two bilao's. It was pretty damned good, especially with the cassava cake. I had so much to eat. But still I was pretty damned tired after the day was over. I needed some R&R. I went home pretty early but waited for Jeoff to call. I missed his call and when I awoke, he was already playing WoW. He was so ready to get me off the phone. It was pretty darn bad, because it was my birthday technically, and he can't even spare me some time. Oh well... men!

Aug 20th
Wednesday was of course, a pretty darned hectic day as well. Jeoff wasn't feeling well so he stayed home. He had a pretty bad stomachache. My poor baby was at home and not feeling so great, and I can't even take care of him. I'm telling you, the LDR thing sucks sometimes. Apart from not being physically together, it sometimes feels like because you're physically apart, you're also not connected to that person anymore. Like something stops you from really understanding things from your perspective. Nonetheless, I still went to work, this time teaching the trainees the ticketing system Merlin uses. I also figured out, based on sheer luck I guess, how to create a Support Portal account from Infra. I was able to teach the newbies everything about creating a Support Portal account. Career-wise, that was a big step. It really made me feel like I could be somewhat techie too. I also felt like it is a great feeling to make the newbies create their own Portal accounts. It made them feel like they were doing something good. Got home and checked with my hunny how he's doing. Still pretty sick. Awwww... :(

Aug 21st
I had to come to work early for a meeting with New Horizon's Learning Center. They provide Microsoft Certification training. They apparently specialize in CBT's, or computer-based learning. They did mention that they have live mentors who can assist participants. Now, we have about 5 analysts which we intend to certify in a few months' time. The level would be MC DST (Microsoft-Certified Desktop Support Technician) first, then MC SA (Microsoft Certified Systems Administrator). This is pretty exciting because I might want to learn how to be a DST. I don't know if I will ever get to be in the SA level. They had pretty great courses. However, I'm still pretty concerned about the budget. Training was pretty bad. German boy kept getting louder and louder and more annoying. What's more, I learned that he used to work for the same company I worked for. This kind of helped him become more "familiar" (read: feeling close) with me. It was pretty irritating when he kept insisting that the line on my slide that read "make sure that when laptop users want to back-up their files, they save it on their desktops" may confuse people because desktops are also called PCs. Hello! Oh gawd! I wish I never have to train someone who is this amazingly concerned about semantics. I was so pissed off, I asked Yong and Yogi to stay for an hour or so and get coffee. I pigged-out like hell! I ate a whole Hungarian Sausage, Egg and Cheese on Ciabatta breakfast sandwich and a Chocolate Lamington. Well, I think the highlight of the day was actually this...

Ewww, I know, I know... See, here's the thing. Yong, Yogi and I were walking to Starbucks from Ortigas Building which means we have to pass by Union Bank. Across Union Bank though, there was this immense cockroach! It was huge! As in if I put it in my palm, it would probably occupy my whole hand! It was almost as huge as a stick of cigarette. I've never seen anything like it! Ugh!

Aug 22nd
The day started with me having to call Chari to let her know about my plans of subcontracting her services to train my "kids" for SDI. Then, Rachelle asked for a round of Maxima training for her entire team. It also escalated to me having to reset someone's Oracle password because my passwords don't work in my very own Citrix client. It sucked like crazy because I was training people o Noetix and it was bundled with Oracle. Tsk tsk... I guess I'll never get my mojo working with Oracle again. I hate myself because I get flustered. If I'm teaching something important, I get confused when one application doesn't function well and instead of talking, I end up trying to fix my account. That's what I did. I sort of projected my incredibly unsystematic way of dealing with resetting my JAVA plugin so Oracle would work. Oh heck... I still ended up getting some coffee after. But we went for a bottle of beer first. Charles and Derrick visited the office and the Business Support gang decided to go to Carlos for pizza and beer. I got Erick, my former trainee, to tag along and we just had a few drinks. It was a fun time, cos we were primarily just chatting about work, it was light and pretty comfy. We moved to Starbucks right after and had a cup of java. Oh that was a great Friday night.
I ended going home at around 4 AM and Jeoff called me up, as if on queue. We spoke for a good 45 minutes or so, about anything and everything under the sun. It was as if it was the first time we spoke on the phone for so long. He was listening and laughing and teasing me. He was joking and he seemed like he was having a great time just talking with me. It was Friday, and I'm in love. :) That was one of the best conversations I had with him. I already miss him.

Chuck

I love this nerd!

This is what I'm pretty busy with over the weekend. Rye lent me his season 1 DVD of Chuck and seriously, I'm just going to be a couch potato and eat popcorn and never get up.

By the way, Chuck is played by Zachary Levi, the same annoying Kip Steadman from the now-defunct show "Less than Perfect".

Sick Day

I think I have pneumonia. Tomorrow, when I go to the doctor, and find out that I don't have pneumonia, we will then confirm that I am a hypochondriac.
I think it's a blessing in disguise, actually. I've been having the itchy fingers as of late. I haven't had enough time to update and prettify my blog and here we are now. Somehow, I think it's been deafening being alone. Alone in my room, alone in the house... It sucks but I think I had a lot of fun coughing myself to sleep.
I got to watch a lot of fun movies. I had a CSI marathon early in the morning, when I woke up. After which, I got some sleep again. Come lunch time, I woke up and ate some fish. Awww, fish! I just love the way fish cooks in white sauce, with mushroom and cloud ears. You can't have enough of a good thing... Anyhow, onwards to more CSI. Waking up at around 9PM after a good sleep, I was able to watch "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry". Adam Sandler is just so hilarious. I almost lost my breath watching him and Kevin James go through married life.
I also got to watch Zohan and Meet Dave. I'm planning to watch "Blades of Glory" later when I get extremely bored. Thank goodness for fake DVDs. I know, it's shameful to admit that I buy these things, but hey, I think I get great entertainment value off of them.
I'm planning to go to the doctor tomorrow. Hope it will be good. I wish I don't have pleural effusion or something scary like that.

Falling Down

I've decided that it is ridiculous to keep talking about how I feel.
Better get a song to do that for me.




Duran Duran Lyrics
Falling Down Lyrics

OMG! Makati!

I haven't been to Makati for such a long time! I am so frigging tired! I just finished the three day HDI training for Help Desk Analysts. I haven't had so much information crammed into my brain for so long! I'm so scared because my certification voucher expires this August. Dear God, I only wish I get to pass this whole certification or Matt will so kick my ass.

I get to stay at home this May 1st. Yay! I can celebrate my dad's birthday tomorrow! I'm thinking pizza and beer. Haha!

What am I doing? I have a ton of slides to create and recreate. The new hire orientation of my new company needs a lot of work. I am a bit scared cos my lack of technical skills is very glaring. Earlier, Chari, the HDI trainer asked us what a hub is. My mind immediately went to the obvious. "Err...airport?".

Sometimes, I feel like such a fish out of water. I am being thrown to the ocean with no actual training on how to swim. Oh well, this is when I sink or swim.

I got a 52 on my HDI assessment today. That's out of 55 standard questions. This is supposedly a great thing, but oh well, I don't really know for sure. I would rather wait for sometime before I do anything crazy like take the test unprepared or because of the sheer pressure that Matt is putting on my head. I know, I know, I have no interest in my boss, yet for some reason, he does get what he wants out of me. Pretty manipulative. Argh! Even when he is in Budapest, he chooses to be in everything. I can't really act on my own. Oh well, we'll see...

Cos I Had a Bad Day

I should be really studying right now. The online portal is taking too long to load and I'm a little strapped for time. I have a killer migraine and I could seriously go for a big old seared tuna fillet right about now. And yet I am here, on this site, killing a good 20 or so minutes only to vent and state what I have to say.

Next week, I will be attending the certification training for HDI (Helpdesk Institute, UK). I'm pretty excited and yet I am scared shitless. What happens if I am not analytical enough to actually fight this thing? Oh well... we'll see. There's an exam right after and if I am not going to be certified, I might as well chicken out now.

People say that everything happens for a reason. You land a job because you're capable. Why does it feel like Matt (my Brit boss who sort of looks like Hugh Grant, only younger and with better teeth) believed in me way too much?

Today at work, I almost fell asleep cos I'm nursing a very bad migraine which eventually went away at around 10:35PM. About 25 minutes prior to the end of my shift. I think it's my laptop. I have to make sure that laptop stays disconnected from a power source because I swear, it's messing with my eyes. I was also almost late getting to work because there were no cabs in Megamall! I hate riding the MRT to work! Going home, five cabs passed me by without even uttering a word. All I needed to say was where I was headed and they all just roll their windows back up and drive as fast as they can. I think I wished they all never get good passengers today. I wished they never get passengers at all.

I got home and I've never been more tired. I switched the telly on and woah... the digital box is dead. Greeeaaaaatttt!!!! The only thing that's working is the internet, and I had to ping Blogger twice cos it wasn't responding the first two times I accessed it.

I went to the kitchen and saw that all my crazy brother (whom I love, don't get me wrong) left me was a little piece of veggie omelet. I was really hoping for a nice seared fish with lemon sauce,but well, he really can't cook. What was I expecting. Podium was closed and all I can buy was either a cheeseburger from McDonald's or a little can of sisig from Select. I would go for the omelet.

Okay, that was my bitch brew for the day. For some reason...I am really hoping that tomorrow won't be so bad. If only I could get some studying done!