In My Head

Yup, this is my life. It's a myriad of parties, crazy and amazing nights out with friends and drinking sessions after work at this Mom and Pop place called "Whistlestop". I can say, I should be the envy of everyone I know. I personally think I drink too much, apparently, I can hold my alcohol anyhow. I haven't done anything stupid or crazy or God-forbid life-altering. I think hitting the right combination of slightly sleepy enough to not cry when I get home,  happy enough to enjoy any silly dare and sober enough to get home is a skill. Good thing I always hit it at 3 drinks. At the end of 3 drinks of mojito, or premium beer, I can head home, not cry and want to get enough sleep and yet, enjoy the company of the usual suspects I drink with. 

Ivan and Iris are two of my closest pals right now, prolly cos of the August connection. I don't know. 

Because of Ivan, I've learned to let things go slowly. I feel happier somehow... I think he makes me realize that tomorrow is always better cos I've never seen anyone so carefree yet so responsible at the same time. (Is that hard to imagine?!) I see myself in him somehow. He loves to have fun, go party on the weekends, have drinks after shift, take pics, watch movies. That used to be me! I used to want to have fun and my weekends used to be filled with so much wondrous events. 

Iris is a spitfire. She has a thing for several guys in the office and she flirts with them openly. It's so funny how she can get a guy super red in the face. Last 29th, she had a dare from her best friend, Cucci to neck with Ivan. It looks like they totally enjoyed themselves. Lolz. She even kissed Ivan on the dance floor. The only dare I was willing to do after a tall glass of Strawberry martini was to dance with Ivan in a seductive way. I just unbuttoned his shirt and pretended to straddle him but other than that, I wasn't in the mood to lick, neck or kiss anyone. I kind of wanted to get home and remove my curly hair wig, lolz. 

Iris' birthday bash @The Fort Piazza

So yup, they seemed like they had fun. I'm still trying to rest from my party the other night, at Icon. It was so weird seeing the Intercon for the first time since I was almost about to get married there. I saw the pool, the cute resto that I wanted to try, where I was supposed to get a complimentary breakfast as part of the honeymoon suite that I will get for my wedding. It was so odd, and yet I felt a peace that I can't explain. This was the last step to truly getting over someone - the might have beens. The next step would be to be able to name him again on this blog and maybe to truly delete all the bad memories I have ever had, be more forgiving and be less pointed about what could be and what will be. 

Iris, Candy, Russ and Me... @Icon

I totally love my friends cos they're with me at any point. It makes me miss my married friends, but well, what are you to do? You don't like the same things anymore and well, sometimes, vices are the only things that hold you to someone. At least Ivan and Iris wouldn't reprimand me if I slept around, lolz, not that I do... 

I miss my friends. I miss Irish and Cym and Chloe, somehow, I know they miss me too. I was really tight with them when I had Jeoff, maybe because for some reason, I felt like I was going to have that kind of life... you know, young wife, about to be a mom, cooking for her hubby and I was going to totally love it. I was pretty sure of it. The sad part is, I ended up losing Jeoff over distance and time and space and while my plethora of friends and family think he's stupid to let me go, he's a much happier person now and he's bound to find the right girl soon. He made me want to be the wife... And now that I'm not going to be a wife, I think I have to keep on frequenting the clubs and going to parties to meet the one. I know that sounds like a crappy, sucky plan but maybe, when I meet the one, I can then do the couple stuff - you know, shopping for pots and pans with friends, grocery shopping, cooking on the weekends, having fun by the park... and not feel hurt or rejected at the end of the day. 

Oh well, someday, maybe when the time is right, he'll come to me and say he wants to get married. Maybe...