the soundtrack of a break-up

The Soundtrack of a Break Up. Ahhh.. When you go through a break up, you feel like there's nothing more painful, more morose and yes, more devastating. I realized that instead of bitching, fighting and contemplating, I better do something productive...like get a new job or toast my hair to a crisp thanks to ironing, curling and styling products. I also learned that smoking more than a pack these days can be somewhat helpful. I probably shouldn't be doing this, but hey, I am miserable. Knowing that the one you hold near and dear will never hold you near and dear sucks. And one more thing that you have to know about me right now...? Being me sucks big time!

This was actually emailed to me by a great friend. Niko, you bastard, stop giving me hope. Truthfully, hope sucks! Haha!


20 Good Reasons

They say love hurts
I wrote that book
I climbed that wall I had one look
But you just came around
To say hello

The streets were filled
With guilty hearts
And here was I right from the start
And I lost everything
When I lost you

So tell me baby why-y-y-y
Should I let you go
Give me 20 good reasons
I need to know, yeah

And at that point
There was no pain
There was no sky
There was no rain
For all there was was you
And your sweet face

But life is life
And things will change
Like scenes upon an actor's stage
Tomorrow comes today
For all we know

So tell me baby why-y-y-y
Should I let you go
Give me 20 good reasons
I need to know, yeah
Give me 20 good reasons
Give me 20 good reasons
Give me 20 good reasons
To let you go

So tell me baby why-y-y-y
Should I let you go
Give me 20 good reasons
I need to know, yeah
Tell me baby why-y-y-y
Should I let you go, yeah
Give me 20 good reasons
I need to know, yeah
Give me 20 good reasons
Give me 20 good reasons
Give me 20 good reasons

Here's something my ex sent me just a few days ago. It's not exactly a break up song but he said that it reminds him of something. Hmn...vengeance? Judgment? Or the fact that I call myself the "fallen angel". Either way, this song sounds pretty haunting and a bit crazy. I wanted to go ahead and post it anyhow.

3 Libras

threw you the obvious and you flew
with it on your back, a name in your recollection,
thrown down among a million same.
difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed
and passed over
when i've looked right through
to see you naked and oblivious
and
you don't see me.but i threw you the obvious
just to see if there's more behind the eyes
of a fallen angel,
the eyes of a tragedy.
here i am expecting just a little bit
too much from the wounded.
but i see through it all
and see you.
so i threw you the obvious
to see what occurs behind the eyes of a fallen angel,
eyes of a tragedy.
oh well. apparently nothing.
you don't see me.
you don't see me at all.

This was a song given to me by hostile friend Tin, who still thinks that I need to get away and actually leave for Dubai. Tell you what, I'll think about it, okay?

Invincible

I don't have nerves of steel
I have a heart that feels
I may have cried a million
tears but I wont drown
I let myself unfold
Gave you my hand to hold
You took me beyond where
I could see
And then you let go of me. .

Chorus:
I was damaged by the fall
Got the wind knocked out of me
To be standing here at all
I must be invincible

I thought that I would break
But now I have come to see
Something strong and beautiful
Insaide of me
I must be invincible. . .
I dont have X-rays eyes
Don't have a heart so wise
How could I have known
you'd let me down
If I had known that then
my eyes are wide open
I still believe I would've missed it

Ahh. . . its a blessing and a curse
Ahh. . . But you find out just
what you've worth.

I was damaged by the fall
Got the wind knocked out of me
To be standing here at all
I must be invincible

I thought that I would break
But now I have come to see
Something strong and beautiful
Insaide of me
(I must be invincible x7)


Here's my personal favorite. I really feel this song was meant to haunt me and to never let me sleep at night (or in the early morning).

The Scientist

Come up to meet you, Tell you I’m sorry, You don’t know how lovely you are

I had to find you, Tell you I need you, Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets, And ask me your questions, Aww let’s go back to the start

Runnin’ in circles, [sounds like] Comin’ our tails, Heads on the science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Aww take me back to the start

I was just guessin’, At numbers and figures, Pullin’ the puzzles apart

Questions of science, Science and progress, Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me, Come back to haunt me, Oh when I rush to the start

Runnin’ in circles, [sounds like] Chasin’ our tails, Comin’ back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Aww It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I’m goin’ back to the start

Ahhooooooooooooooooo
Ahhooooooooooooooooo
Ahhooooooooooooooooo
Ahhooooooooooooooooo


Another break-up song of all time chronicles how two people can be together and never be right for each other. I think I've sat through beer-binge sessions with friends before listening to this song over and over again. Friends have listened to it, and now I am too...

Don't Speak

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining

Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

Here's something I learned from my old mentor Bambi. Never underestimate the power of an American Idol!

Since You've Been Gone

Here's the thing
We started out friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah, Yeah
Since you've been gone

You're dedicated,
You took the time
Wasn't long 'till I called you mine
Yeah, Yeah
Since you've been gone

And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I picture me with you
That's all you ever hear me say

But since you've been gone
I can't breathe for the first time
I suffered it all
Yeah Yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since you've been gone

How can I put it?
You put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah Yeah
Since you've been gone

How come I never hear you say,
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way

But since you've been gone
I can't breathe for the first time
I suffered it all
Oh Yeah Yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get... I get what I want..(Since you've been gone)

You had your chance, you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth, I just can't take it
again and again and again and again!


Since you've been gone (Since you've been gone)
I can't breathe for the first time
I sufered it all
Yeah Yeah
Thanks to you, (thanks to you)
Now I get..
I get what I want
for the first time,
I suffered it all
Yeah Yeah
Thanks to you, Thanks to you
Now I get (I get)
You should know, You should know
That I get
I get what I want...

Since You've Been Gone
Since You've Been Gone
Since You've Been Gone

This song is something incredibly special to me. It will be passed on for more Meg heartaches to come. And somehow, despite its haunting melody and its penchance for drama, it's still the best break-up song for me.

Do What You Have To Do

What ravages of spirit
conjured this temptuous rage
created you a monster
broken by the rules of love
and fate has lead you through it
you do what you have to do
and fate has led you through it
you do what you have to do ...

and I have the sense to recognize that
I don't know how to let you go
every moment marked
with apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving
trying to escape this desire
the yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
the yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
but I have the sense to recognize

that I don't know how
to let you go
I don't know how
to let you go

a glowing ember
burning hot
burning slow
deep within I'm shaken by the violence
of existing for only you

I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
and I have sense to recognize but
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go

Nothing beats seeing Chris Rock use this song on one of his movies. Chris plays a DJ at an underground club in New York, and being just dumped, he decided to play this nasty song about losing the one.

All Out of Love

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart
I wish I could carry your smile and my heart
For times when my life feels so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know


Chorus:
I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong


I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone


Chorus
Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?

Another way to enjoy a good break up song is to dance to it. Never mind the funky lyrics or how badly you wanna believe it. Here's my choice pick. Enjoy!

Irreplaceable

To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet that's my stuff - Yes
If I bought it nigga please don't touch
And keep talking that mess, that's fine
But could you walk and talk at the same time
And It's my mine name that is on that Jag
So remove your bags let me call you a cab

Standing in the front yard telling me
How I'm such a fool - Talking about
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be here in a minute - baby

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

So go ahead and get gone
And call up on that chick and see if she is home
Oops, I bet ya thought that I didn't know
What did you think I was putting you out for?
Cause you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
Baby you dropped them keys hurry up before your taxi leaves
Standing in the front yard telling me
How I am such a fool - Talking about
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be here in a minute - baby
[ these lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I will have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

So since I’m not your everything
How about I'll be nothing
Nothing at all to you
Baby I wont shead a tear for you
I won't lose a wink of sleep
Cause the truth of the matter is
Replacing you is so easy

To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
Everything you own in the box to the left

To the left
To the left

Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be be here in a minute - baby

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I can have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be be here in a minute - baby

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I can have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

I've never been a huge Mariah fan. But when someone made me listen to this song the other day, it felt like all I wanted to do was actually breakdown and cry! Nicely done, Mariah! We're gonna see each other in our prozac-laced trips one of these days. Didn't know Tommy had that effect on you, did you?

Breakdown

Krayzie:

Break break down,
Steady breakin me on down, break break down,
Steady breakin me on down,
Break break down, steady breakin me on down,
Break break down, steady breakin me on down.

Mariah:

You called yesterday to basicallly say
That you care for me,
But that you're just not in love
Immediately I pretended
To be feeling similarly
And led you to believe it was o.k
To just walk away from the one thing
That's unyielding and sacred to me

Chorus:

Well I guess I'm trying to be
Nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove
I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath a disguise of a smile
Gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel
And I lie convincingly
Cause I don't want to reveal
The fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise
Till I go home at night
And turn down all the lights
And then I break down and cry

Mariah:

So what do you do
When somebody you're so devoted to
Suddenly just stops loving you
And it seems they haven't got a clue
Of the pain that rejection is putting you through
Do you cling to your pride
And sing "I will survive"
Do you lash out and say "How dare you leave this way?"
Do you hold on in vain as they just slip away

Wish:

Yeah, c' mon, yeah, c' mon, c' mon

Well I guess I'm trying to be
Nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove
I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath the disguise of a smile
Gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel
And I lie convincingly
Cause I don't want to reveal
The fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise
Till I go home at night
And turn down all the lights
And then I break down and cry

Wish:

It'll break you down
only if you let it
Everday crazy situations rocking my mind
Tryin' to break me down
But I won't let it
Forget it ( forget it)

Krayzie:

I be feelin' like you bringing me down
Taking me around
stressin' me out
I think i better go and get out
And let me release some stress ( stress )

Wish:

Don't ever wanna feel no pain ( pain )
Hoping for the sun
But it looks like rain ( rain, rain, rain )
Lord, I just wanna maintain

Krayzie:

Yeah, I can feel pressures ya'll
But never the less
Krayzie won't fall
It's over, it's ending here ( here )

Well I guess I'm trying to be
Nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove
I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath the guise of a smile
Gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel
And I lie convincingly
Cause I don't want to reveal
The fact that I'm suffering
So I wear my disguise
Till I go home at night
And turn down all the lights
And then I break down and cry

This is a slightly optimistic yet unbelievable gut-wrenching and heart-breaking song. Never mind the fact that you can actually hum it and think it's a song about friendship and you imagine girl scouts around a campfire singing it. Listen to the lyrics and you're bound to get it.

You're In Love

Open the door and come in
I'm so glad to see you my friend
Don't know how long it has been
Having those feelings again.

And now I see that you're so happy
And ooh, it just sets me free
And I'd like to see
Us as good of friends
As we used to be

[Chorus:]
Aah, my love, Aah
You're in love
That's the way
It should be
'Cause I want you to be happy
You're in love
And I know
That you're not in love with me
Ooh it's enough
For me to know
That you're in love
Now I'll let you go
'Cause I know
That you're in love

Sometimes it's hard to believe
That you're never coming back to me
I've had this dream that you'd always be by my side
Oh I could have died.

But now I see that you're so happy
And ooh, it just sets me free.
And I'd like to see
Us as good of friends
As we used to be

[Chorus]

I tried to find you but you were so far away
I was praying that fate would bring you back to me
Someday, someday, someday... Ooh, you're in love

Ooh it's enough
For me to know
That you're in love
Now I'll let you go
'Cause I know
That you're in love

And as the fallen goes on to twisted, here's a song to dance to, to eat to, to mull over, to be in love with and eventually, will be the theme song of my less than perfect existence as of the moment.

Life Goes On

Life goes on, life goes on
Life goes on, life goes on

You sucked me in
And played my mind
Just like a toy
You were crank and wind

Baby I would give till you wore it out
You left me lyin' in a pool of doubt
And you're still thinkin' you're the Daddy Mac
You should've known better but you didn't
And I can't go back

Oh life goes on
And it's only gonna make me strong
It's a fact, once you get on board
Say good-bye cause you can't go back
Oh it's a fight, and I really wanna get it right
Where I'm at, is my life before me
And this feelin' that I can go back
Life goes on (repeat 2X)

Wish I knew then
What I know now
You held all the cards
And sold me out

Baby shame on you, if you fool me once
Shame on me if you fool me twice
You've been a pretty hard case to crack
Should've known better but I didn't
And I can't go back

Oh life goes on
And it's only gonna make me strong
It's a fact, once you get on board
Say good-bye cause you can't go back
Oh it's a fight, and I really wanna get it right
Where I'm at, is my life before me
And this feelin' that I can go back


Na, na, na, na, na
Life goes on
Na, Na, Na, Na,
It made me strong
Oh yeah, got this feeling that I can't go back
Life goes on, life goes on, and on and on

Shame on you, if you fool me once
Shame on me if you fool me twice
You've been a pretty hard case to crack
Should've known better but I didn't
And I can't go back

Oh life goes on
And it's only gonna make me strong
It's a fact, once you get on board
Say good-bye cause you can't go back
Oh it's a fight, and I really wanna get it right
Where I'm at, is my life before me
And this feelin' that I can't go back

Na, na, na, na, na
Life goes on
Na, Na, Na, Na
It made me strong

Oh yeah
Gotta feelin' that I can't go back
No I can't go back
Oh yeah
I've gotta go now
I'm moving on
No turning back
Cause you made me strong
Oh yeah
Gotta feelin' that I can't go back...


Knowing all that you know about break-ups, ain't it just sick? I mean, you actually feel that this person will move on without you! Find a wife, marry some great chick and you will be left with nothing but digital pictures of you and him, supposedly in love. You know that someday, this man will be someone else's star and you will be left in black.

Black

Hey...oooh...
Sheets of empty canvas
Untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me
As her body once did
All five horizons
Revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun
Now the air I tasted and breathed
Has taken a turn
Ooh and all I taught her was everything
Ooh I know she gave me all that she wore
And now my bitter hands
Chafe beneath the clouds
Of what was everything
Oh the pictures have
All been washed in black
Tattooed everything
I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by
Some kids at play
I can feel their laughter
So why do I sear
Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin
Round my head
I'm spinning
Oh, I'm spinning
How quick the sun can, drop away...
And now my bitter hands
Cradle broken glass
Of what was everything
All the pictures had
All been washed in black
Tattooed everything
All the love gone bad
Turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see
All that I am
All I'll be...
Yeah
Uh huh...uh huh...ooh...
I know someday you'll have a beautiful life
I know you'll be a sun
In somebody else's sky
But why
Why
Why can't it be
Why can't it be mine
(not sure?)
mm-hmm no yeah no
mm mmmm no nonono yeah yeah
we-
we belong
we belong together
together
oooh ooh
we-
we belong
we belong together
oh yeah


You can also try to be sappy and beg for someone to come back. I think that's what the Counting Crows had in mind when they made this song.

The Ghost in You

A man in my shoes runs a light
All the papers lie tonight
But falling over you
Is the news of the day

Angels fall like rain
And love, is all of heaven way
Inside you the time moves and she dont fade
The ghost in you she dont fade away

The race is on, Im on your side
But hearing you my engines died
Im in the mood for you
Or for running away

All the stars come down in you
But love, love, love you cant give it away
Inside you the time moves and she dont fade
The ghost in you she dont fade
Inside you the time moves and she dont fade away
Dont you know she dont fade

Dont you go it makes no sense
And all these talking supermen
Just take away the time just to get it away
Aint it just like the rain
Cause love, love, love, love is only heaven away
Inside you the time moves and she dont fade
The ghost in you she dont fade away

Inside you the time moves and she dont fade away
The ghost in you she dont fade

A man in my shoes runs a light
But all the papers lie tonight
Falling over you is the news of the day
And love will not fade away
And love love love will not fade away

Finally, when you want to let go and you just can't seem to figure out why the hell the man you love can be so mean and inconsiderate and would deliberately leave you hanging in mid-air, here's a surefire way to perk you up.

On My Own

I'm wiser now
I'm not the foolish girl you used to know
So long ago
I'm stronger now
I've learned from my mistakes which way to go
And I should know
I put myself aside to do it your way
But now I need to do it all alone

And I am not afraid to try it on my own
I don't care if I'm right or wrong
I'll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I'll keep it real you know
Time for me to do it on my own
Yeah yeah, mmm, yeah yeah

It's over now
I can't go back to living through your eyes
Too many lines
And if you don't know by now
I can't go back to being someone else
Not anymore
I never had a chance to do things my way
So now it's time for me to take control

And I am not afraid to try it on my own
I don't care if I'm right or wrong
I'll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I'm gonna keep it real you know
Time for me to do it

Oh I start again go back to one
I'm running things my way
Can't stop me now, I've just begun
Don't even think about it
There ain't no way about it
I'm taking names, the ones of mine
Yes I'm gonna take my turn
It's time for me to finally stand alone, stand alone

I am not afraid to try it on my own
And I don't care if I'm right or wrong
I'll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I'm gonna keep it real you know
It's time for me to do it
See I'm not afraid


So there's my soundtrack. To everyone who's ever been heartbroken, misery loves company, but it loves a good break up song more. And to everyone who's happy right now and thinks that the world will cease to end without the people they hold near and dear to them - bite me!