Unmarried

Yesterday afternoon, I woke up to go to my second job. Yeah, didn't my Blogger profile tell you I was a hyphenate? I am tutoring a blind kid. We mainly talk. It's kind of useless to help him with his subjects unless I can read Braille. I basically prepare for his lessons brushing up on Meteorology, Computer (think of your former subject in High School) and a bit of Science (Yes, the all-powerful Physics for Dummies came to be super useful!).

Anyhow,the blind kid's name is Frank. He's 13 and getting giddy with all the crushes he has in school. It's kind of funny. The first time he told me he had a crush on someone, I, in full faux pas moment, uttered "Huh? How can you see what she looks like?!". He has supposedly fell in love with his 54-year old GMRC (Good Manners and Right Conduct) teacher, which for me spells trouble. Apparently, he falls in love with smells. His teacher must have some weird kick ass perfume to make him fall head over heels because he can't stop talking about her, much to my terror. He gave her a fruit basket the other day, and by God, the old lady's cashing in on her student's blatant admiration.

I just kind of realized that it was wrong. I told Frank. I didn't want to sound like a mother but I kind of scolded him. I was pretty straightforward, saying that it wasn't right. She is as old as your mother, and you are better off finding a girl your age. He just laughed and asked me how old I was, and how old my husband is. I said that I'm not married and I'm twice his age. If he thinks I'm old (Trust me, this kid thinks I'm ancient!), then all the more his teacher, who's like 3 years more than twice my age. I actually told him not to put too much attention to it and start concentrating on other things, like his studies. Then he started asking me questions, like what it's like to have a girlfriend and why are girls so hard to deal with. I started explaining different angles and told him that in time, he will have a relationship with the right girl and understand all these things. I tried redirecting the topic to our lesson, this time, we were talking about English Idioms and how to use them. He kept wanting to go back to the topic. I indulged the young boy and got the shock of my life when he told me "When I marry, all the girl needs to do is to take care of our children. I don't like children but I think I'll be forced to have them."

I gave him the vocabulary word "chauvinistic", and explained why he should never ever say that the only place for a girl is the house and to take care of children. He then mentioned "Is that why you're not married? You don't want to stay at home and have children?".

Quite honestly, I do see myself married, with children. In fact, it is a lifelong dream to have a family of my own. I want to have a husband I can cook for, and can make love to. I want a lover and a partner. I want someone to fight for, and someone who will fight for me.

It's kind of weird because I have to endure tons of reunions with supposedly well-meaning relatives and family friends that ask me why I'm still not married. And now, a 13-year old kid is asking me the same question. Yeesh, lay off me, will you all? I am bound to be married. Maybe it would take a whole lifetime until the time is right, but it will happen, somehow.

So yes, I still remain unmarried. I will be unmarried for a long time from now and it doesn't matter. I know that a piece of paper and a church blessing does not a good partnership make. I've seen marriages go down the drain just because the couple rushed things, and ended with some weird commitment after the feeling's gone. I want something nurtured, something that will stand the test of time and the test of individual differences. I want something that is deep and real, and I'm working on it. So quit asking and just support me.