Last Will

I have come to realize that I am pretty steady.
I have no qualms about the future and the past anymore. Maybe it's because I have seen the worst and the best that love and life can give. It feels like I can say goodbye to anything and everything just like that. My mom has been making kulit for me to sign that death insurance thing for the past few weeks and it includes writing some kind of a last will and testament.

I was just pondering on the meaning of those two words. So strong that it tears families and relationships. I mean, just look at what happened countless of families torn apart by wanting each others' share. Siblings fight. Families feud. People tear each other apart in the name of the almighty dollar.

Don't get me wrong, anything and everything I have ever saved up for is, shall we say, too meager for inheritances. And so, I was left with a blank sheet of assets of liabilities. Wondering what the frigging hell to write.

I started wondering what the heck have I done to change my life, my stature in life and what have I been doing to perpetuate my current situation. The whole idea sucks eggs and I had to sit down and find out what the heck was it that I wanted to write down.

I started copying random numbers of account numbers on this sheet of paper. Hoping that someday, when I die, I would have amassed vast amounts of power, wealth and authority such that the measly 1000+ dollars I've saved will be millions someday. I had no liabilities. I make sure I pay my bills on time, so I guess no biggie. But I still can't help but wonder, who to sign these over to.

I started writing my brother's name on the blank.

Silly eh? We are so into insurances and papers. We always think we are protected from the inevitable. Protected from sickness, imperturbable by pain, unabashed by the harshness of life, but who knows. Maybe God will strike me dead after I finish this sentence.

OK He didn't.

But life is indeed short. It is fragile. It is rare. There are moments you want to capture in time, pictures you want to frame in gold but can only keep in your mind, there are glimpses of the future that you hold near and dear to your heart. And people can tell me that this will shall last for years, until the day I die. But the only thing that will last are those snippets of ideas, thoughts and affection shared with you, everyday of your life. People stopping by to be in the now and finding you and discovering you, smiling at your faults and cheering you on as you struggle, people who keep their hearts intertwined with yours so you can fight for everyday and every hour.

In hopes of making my mom stop nagging me, I faxed the assets and liabilities form to our insurance people.

Now, why doesn't that damned form have "memories" there?