Meandering Meg Musings

If there's anything I don't love, it's being idle...

Oodles and oodles of nonsensical non-productive hours meant for creating something extraordinary...your masterpiece, your canvas of life.

If I was a musician, I'd have tons of compositions now.

I've hit a slump in my professional life. Now I view work as actual work. I don't see nor do I feel extreme fulfillment when my students experience the "A-ha Moment" Oprah is so fond of talking about. Nor do I get to feel anything special as I go through work. Funny because I am not overloaded. I am not even hitting 10 lessons a day.

I can't really say what makes me tick. I know I'm pretty self-motivated. I don't really need anyone to tell me I'm doing a good job because I'm my own worst critic. I am however, concerned with what I've been feeling. I don't even feel like hanging out with people I used to hang with. I just feel like crawling into a rock and not leaving for days...

I am only comforted by the idea of two things:

1. Routine
2. I'll snap out of it syndrome
   

My friends have been on my case for weeks now. They have been pointing out that I've become a home buddy as of late. Hold on, I've always been a homebody. I've never liked the raves, the parties and the crazy and never-ending drinking/binging sessions my friends ask me to put up with. I really just prefer cooking for my friends and just taking some time to make a good pot of coffee and talking. People don't seem to get that.

I haven't watched a good movie as of late. I should so that soon.

My iPod collection is a weird one! I have songs from the 70's, techno music - yes, rave type music that I used to love, love songs - as in the cheesy ones, like the one I'm listening to, ala Olivia Newton John pre-Xanadu, I also have rock songs like Drowning Pool's "Bodies". I've been looking for Ozzy Osbourne's "I Don't Wanna Stop", it's pretty cool. I also wish to get the latest album compilation of Jaya. See? I basically listen to everything!

I could go for a huge cheeseburger right now. I'm thinking of juicy medium-rare fat patties from TGIFriday's with their huge fries and a glass of Coke Light! OMG! Joygasmic!

I am itching to go to the beach. Don't ask why... I have no right to wear a skimpy bikini, nor do I have the ability to breaststroke my way into greatness but dear God, the smell of the ocean would be really good for my soul right now.

The one thing I wanted for my Chinese New Year was a good kikiam. Don't think of the street food. Good kikiam is prepared methodically, using pork intestines as its casing with veggies and ground pork inside. It is actually better steamed. I got that last night. My mom cooked great kikiam for everyone. You can buy one from Maxim's Tea House in Ongpin St. It's the best!

I am totally losing my hair! That new shampoo I'm trying might be making my hair weaker than it's supposed to be. It smells wonderful though...

I am really good at cutting back on my smoking now though. I am smoking less and less and craving it less and less. There was even one time that I didn't smoke for an entire day. Well, it was a weekend, but hey, that still totally counts!

I have been doing some random exercises. I just set my iPod to Beyonce, Shakira or the Pussycat Dolls and it's an instant work-out. Or I can just opt to commute to work. THAT is an instant work-out!