Missed

I feel stranded in a life that isn't mine.

I have been mulling about for weeks. I feel responsible for it. And I feel slighted for feeling this way. I have been slightly irritable, uninterested and very distant from people.

It was evident when I was at work last Friday.

Usually, I am a pretty good conversationalist but it feels like I spent most of my energy giving my lessons and winning clients, instead of actually dealing and conversing with anyone. I bet that most of the people were wondering what the heck was going on in my head.

I have been missing Jeoff, more so than I ever did.

Earlier, we had a pretty long talk. And it was heaven, I feel like floating... I really miss him so much. And I'm not talking about a conversation that talks about the future or the past, I am talking about just simply having a great conversation-about anything and everything under the sun. I really love this man because he quite honestly respects that I have a brain, well enough to figure out what I love talking about, and he also appreciates that there are some ideas I can't grasp. In short, he understands that I can't do it all.

I love the fact that he is opening up more and isn't so dyahe to come to me when there's a problem. I mean, I get the slight rants and the favorites and the different things that happened during the day, a play-by-play of the recent movie he loved and an everyday heartfelt "I love you", but nonetheless, I want to hear what bothers him, what makes him tick, what upsets him.

I got that. That was the best Valentines' day gift.

Don't get me wrong, it's like I told him. I am not here only for the good times, I want to be there for the bad times.

I love him to bits.

And although it's late... happy Valentines' Day, handsome. You are my life.