The iPod Game

I tend to torture myself with weird and vague questions about my life using my iPod. Today, I just uploaded a new playlist - the Sissy playlist. It's a collection of songs from boy bands - good, sad, painful and even funny ones.

Earlier today, Jeoff and I had the most painful fight ever. I just feel like he doesn't want to treat me fairly. He's an angry man. He believes to some extent that I ruined a possibly good wedding. That's beside the point though. In case you haven't been following what my life is about, that's okay. I don't really expect anyone to, considering half of my friends have probably given up on me.

Anyhow, this is going to be one huge word vomit so it better be at least over the top, cos it seems to be the running theme in my life. I think God is one mean DJ.

Yes, I play some stupid iPod game. Just now, I was relaxing in my room and decided to press shuffle on iTunes and asked God one random question. "What's gonna happen next?". It's so freakin' weird. Let me tell you what kind of songs I have on the Sissy playlist, alright?

1. On Bended Knee - It's from Boyz II Men which specialize in songs of regret...

Can we go back to the days our love was strong.Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong? 

2. Four Seasons of Loneliness - Again some weird song from Boyz II Men that sings of four seasons of loneliness.

This loneliness has crushed my heart. Please let me love again. Cause I need your love to comfort me and ease my pain. Or four seasons will bring the loneliness again... 

3. Total Eclipse of the Heart (by Glee) - Not that I had anything against the original version, I kind of needed a sissy playlist, remember? I had to go super ShowTunes by invoking the powers of Rachel Berry and the Kurt.

Once upon a time, I was falling in love. Now I'm only falling apart, nothing I can do... The total eclipse of the heart.

4. Everytime - From the Rhythm Nation diva, Janet Jackson. I badly wanted this song on my Sissy playlist cos it reminds me of High School and everything that was strange about it.

But everytime your love is near and everytime I'm filled with fear... cause everytime I see your face, my heart just begins to race everytime... 

5. Never Ever - This soulful song is from All Saints which may have been the basis for Val Kilmer's movie some odd years ago.

Never ever have I had to find, I've had to dig away to find my own peace of mind. I've never had my conscience to fight. The way I'm feeling it just don't feel right. I'll keep searching deep within my soul, for all the answers. I don't want to hurt no more. 

6. Tearin' Up My Heart - Ok, this I don't have memorized. I remember it to be one of those break up songs too  from N'Sync.
7. Invisible Man from 98 Degrees - Yup, someone taken for granted.
8. All Rise - From Blue, which talked about universal love.
9. It's Gonna Be Me - From N'Sync again. Really freaky song about trying to win someone over and that the next time that girl will love again, it's gonna be them - sounds like a restraining order.
10. Other boy band and Glee songs that are bound to hurt you - Bad Romance, True Colors, My Confessions, Somebody to Love, You Can't Always Get What You Want.

Amazingly, what I got was I Do, despite the fact that I was talking to God and asking for a sign as to what I need to do.

In case you've been living in a cave, this is the video for that damned song...

 

God is an unfair DJ. He kind of makes you hope for something you've always wanted.