lip service

i just had a long conversation with an old friend who's residing in north york, toronto. you can check out our conversation. didn't know i had luscious lips... sure my toolz would tell me, but oh my god, i didn't know that people thought the same way...! wow... i think i gotta trust my man more often when he tells me that i am pretty.

moments

i found myself watching seven different movies not understanding any one of the story lines.
i got to smoke almost an entire pack just tonight.
i call these the moments. it's getting pretty easy, at least, dealing with these moments.
so, what happened was pretty petty. i was just thinking about him and it happened. i got the guts and courage to check his ex's friendster profile. yikes... they have the same status. yikes, she's as beautiful as ever. yikes, i have no edge over this woman whatsoever.
i mean, how could a man prefer me? an ordinary clod over a goddess? she is so beautiful, intelligent, with a body that could make thousands of men drool and worship her? what do i have against 3 years of bliss? what do i have against car trips and bonding sessions over beer and having the same group of friends and sharing the same interests over time? what can i ever have over this woman? how can he be so damned sure that he wants me? how can he say that he loves me? how can he be so damned positive that i am the only one he wants? he still has her pictures... he still has her name on his blog posts... he still has her... and all i have is his word, which no one has probably heard except me.
sometimes, i get so frightened. i felt myself crying in the middle of my sleep... i know that i have to trust him. and i'm willing myself to. but then sometimes, i get these moments where i know that someday, somehow, this beautiful woman he's turned his back on, will come back to haunt me and claim what is rightfully hers. and he's been marked by her. and i've been marked by him. it's a frigging continuous cycle.
but i know i love him. down to my bones, i know i do.
i've never wanted anything so badly that i was willing to let go.
i've never promised anyone that i will live through a thousand lifetimes so i can be with him.
i've never been this crazy in love before that my heart skips a beat every single time he contacts me.
i've never wanted to be better for someone else except him.
sometimes, i'm scared to find out exactly how much i love him. i think if i explore this feeling, there will be no words, no gestures enough to make him feel what i do for him. i mean, i'm pretty sure i'm smart, but there's just no way that i can explain what i really feel for him. it's as if my life, my entire being, every fiber of it, is his. and i don't know if i made the decision to love him everyday of my life, but i do... everyday, i fall deeper into him. that's why sometimes, i feel that should something happen to us... say he goes back to the woman he left behind, i might die. i'm trying to keep some for myself, and it's so effing hard to do it.
i want to be able to love him with NO restrictions, no boundaries, no limitations, just 100% of my entire soul and heart and being...but maybe, i should save just a little percent just so i won't die if he leaves me. i know that's sick to hear but it's ridiculous not to ask for anything else in this world. i'm happy with him. i hope it never ends.

bet your bottom dollar

it's hard to find a pretty good gig nowadays, especially if you can't find a good agent. i have been trying to get published for a while. i am looking to be a stylist, for extra income. i have come up with a portfolio of people that have been photographed, thanks to my make-up talents. being in make-up will only get you a mesaly 5000php per call time. a stylist can definitely ask for more. and all i need is a push.
my friend is an associate editor for a magazine. i've begged, pleaded and asked so badly to be a stylist, guess i have to use some bargaining chips, like, lower my asking price. i am after all not that well known yet. i better start gracing events again. damn, if only i could still fit in those gimmick clothes i used to have. think i'm gonna look like a hanger in those clothes. guess they'll hang loosely. damn... gotta get gimmick clothes from a thrift shop, so i can start my modus operandi. operation: get more money. haha!
when i get to canada, the first thing i need to secure is a job. maybe i need to find a place too. the zeller's thing might not happen. i am thinking of 5 years and 5 years is too long to be tied to one company. besides, truth be told, i never wanted to be a pharmacist. and getting back to a profession that i didn't want to begin with, may cause me to either go cranky or get really angsty. something i hate being.
anyhow, gotta get some sleep. i have to join my mom for some serious underwear shopping later. she promised me a pair of lacy thongs i've longed wanted to buy. Ü well, i can't afford any frivolous stuff right now. i have to make sure that my money only goes straight to the bank, otherwise, i may have some problems by april. well, of course, the only thing i can't give up would be my cab rides to the office and well, some more change for starbucks. but everything else goes to the bank, i swear. well, i'm giving up starbucks next month. the month after that, i'm giving up the cab rides. i'm gonna have to learn to take the public commute again.

which of the x-men are you?

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause. You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them. Power: force beams from your eyes

Which of the X-Men Are You?

the quick and dirty career test

Your Career Personality: Independent, Insightful, and Ingenious

Your Ideal Careers: Architect Artist Business strategist College professor Computer programmer Mathematician Neurologist Philosopher Photographer Video game developer

The Quick and Dirty Career Test

what famous work of art are you?

You Are Best Described By...

From the Lake, No. 1 by Georgia O'Keeffe

What Famous Work of Art Are You?

what kind of intelligence do you have?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

quicksilver

watched a couple of movies on HBO today. i had to cry cos quicksilver (yah, it's a really old film with kevin bacon and still standing's jami gertz) was pretty good. it had a lot of bicycle stunts on it. srious stunts that i would never have the guts to do... ramps, twisters, lightnings, man, that movie was pretty remarkable.
kevin plays jack cassey, a stockbroker who had everything but lost it cos of one bad deal. being pretty good with a bike, he decided to work as a messenger. (yeah, no emails then yet) and the story progressed from there. jami plays terry, a new messenger that had to lie about her past so people wouldn't find out that she grew up poor and orphaned. jack and terry, through the movie, had to deal with relationships, team work among the team of messengers and drugs. terry got involved with a gypsy - someone who carries drugs and asks her to deliver it for him. jack had to protect terry after realizing that he might have feelings for her. this, after jack's longtime girlfriend, a sophisticated ballet dancer, left him for the lacklustre life he led as a messenger.
it was a pretty interesting concept. by the end of the film, you see jack and terry heading off to hector's hotdog stand. hector being a friend to both terry and jack, and benig a previous messenger himslef, has decided to put up a hotdog stand to earn more money for his growing family. terry was going to be a paramedic and jack, on his way to exercising his powers on the stock market again. it gave me two insights in life. first, and probably, the most applicable one in my life, it's never too late to incite change in your life and second, never question what a bad day can do to a person, cos there will always be better ones.
jack lost everything in a span of 24 hours and gained everything as he persevered to change his life. it wasn't sweet and smooth sailing but that was something that he had to see so he can appreciate his life better with the woman he loves. terry's character wasn't primarily developed in that movie, but it seems that she was able to bring out the best in herself and in jack. her being simple and naive didn't stop jack from loving her and her latting her hair down in their first few encounters didn't hurt either.

my twisted sunshine

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Ever After
Bonnie Bailey

Three years ago, my journey began
Chasing down this cure, no plan in hand
Just your pulse, my racing guide in the dark
Just knowing with conviction from the start
The moment your eyes made an introduction
I felt my second violent breath of life
Flawless to the point of being godly
Yet I fell hard for your imperfections
Chorus:
And now it's like the weather is slightly warmer
Our hands grip together, eye to eye through the storm, yet
I still believe in ever after with you, yeahhhhh
'cause life is a pleasure with you by my side,
And there ain't no current in this river we can't ride
I still believe in ever after with you
Nothing compares to the good times
Feels like we're floating, when the rest have to climb
You made me believe in love, and not the perfect kind
A real messy beautiful twisted sunshine
Emotions, volcanic eruptions
We both still care, so we're still alive
Tunnel vision, determination
I want to, I want to make it right
You are my twisted sunshine
You are my twisted sunshine

well, pwede din to...

More Today Than Yesterday
Spiral Starecase

I don't remember what day it was
I didn't notice what time it was
All I know is that I fell in love with you
And if all my dreams come true
I'll be spending time with you

Every day's a new day in love with you
With each day comes a new way of loving you
Every time I kiss your lips my mind starts to wander
And if all my dreams come true
I'll be spending time with you

Oh, I love you more today than yesterday
But not as much as tomorrow
I love you more today than yesterday
But, darling, not as much as tomorrow

Tomorrow's date means springtime's just a day away
Cupid, we don't need ya now, be on your way
I thank the lord for love like ours that grows ever stronger
And I always will be true
I know you feel the same way too

Oh, I love you more today than yesterday
But not as much as tomorrow
I love you more today than yesterday
But only half as much as tomorrow


if you really want me to be part of your life, then i'm ready to be part of your life too.
hold on tight, i'm making the necessary adjustments in my life to be with you.
i'm scared, i'm excited but i've never wanted anything else in my life more than i want to be with you. if this is all a dream, i don't want it to end. and i want to tell you those three magical words that i have long wanted to say but you never believed....

I CRUSH YOU! Ü

money problems

well, here i am trying to figure out how much i'll be spending for my trip to canada. i might be needing around 300,000.00 bucks in savings to get there. hmn.... wonder if i should start making people up for extra money again. might as well sell my stock options too.
for the first time in my life, i'm doing something that's beyond what i have done before. i'm pretty scared but i'm ok with it, i guess. i don't know if it's all going to be worthwhile in the end. but i think i'm a fighter. so, eevrything i get myself into, i tend to fight for it.
i'm pretty scared of what i'll end up in toronto. maybe i will be a helper or a caretaker. actually, that is pretty ok with me. i dunno how i can make ends meet there. i refuse to be begging for any mercy from people i know there. it's just too embarassing.
maybe i should just move to san francisco, where i could live with my tita. i don't know if that's a better idea than living with some friends,but either way, i'm pretty scared of being alone in canada. what if i have a fight with my friend? or what if i am not ready to be there alone? at least being with family will give me some allowance to be me and be ok.
a ticket to toronto will be around 1800USD and to san fro probably around 2500USD. it's pretty darn expensive either or. hay.. wish i can earn that much in a payday! yeesh.

walang pamagat

marami nang akdang hindi pwedeng isadula. marami ding akda na hindi pwedeng isapelikula. mas malupit kung iisipin mo na madami ding kadang hindi nababasa. yun ang tema ng akong isusulat ngayon.
sa dinami dami ng nasusulat na berso ng isang akdang iyong nabasa, iilan lang ba ang tiyak mong maaalala? iilan lang sa hinagap mo ang hinaplos nito ng tunay na kabuluhan, katotohanan at katiyakan?
ilang kanta ang pwede mong masabing naglalarawan ng buhay mo?
ilang salita ang namutawi sa bibig ng ibang sadyang ikaw ang tinutukoy?
sa bawat oras at bawat panahon ng buhay ng isang tao, iisa lang ang katiyakan. ito ay kung ano ang nararanasan niya ng panahon na yun. isantabi mo na ang pananampalataya ng taong ito, ang lagay ng lipunan, ng kalikasan at ng katayuan sa madla. iisa lang ang alam ng taong ito sa isang tiyak na oras ng buhay niya, ito yung pakiramdam niya.
ako yung taong sa ngayon ay naguguluhan sa kinatatayuan ko.
paano mo sasabihin sa taong mahal mo na siya lang nasa puso mo? yung walang halong bola o stir, yung walang pagdaramdam sa nakaraan, walang kahit konting pagsisisi na sinabi mo?
paano mo aaminin ang isang bagay na nagawa mo na hindi mo na maibabalik pa? paano mo masasabihan ng "pasensiya na" ang isang taong wala namang nagawa sa yo kundi mahalin ang taong mahal mo?
paano mo masasabi sa magulang mo na ang taong mahal mo ay ang taong ayaw nila para sa yo? at ang taong ito ang gusto mong maging ama ng mga apo nila? at ang taong ito ang tanging mamahalin mo ng walang humpay hanggang sa oras na bawian ka ng buhay ng diyos na siyang may alam ng natatangi mong alam sa buhay mo?
paano mo sasabihin sa ibang tao na ang alam mo lamang ay kung paano mo gustong ipakipaglaban ang nararamdaman mo?
sa buong mundo, iisa lang nag maaring malaman ng tao-yun ay ang kanyang alam sa pagkatao niya, pagkakagtaon na dala ng samu't saring kasalimuoton ng buhay na siyang hindi maiiwasan. iisa din lang ang maaring maging sagot sa isipan mo-sundin ang nasa loob mo.

keeping time

shared community posts and afternoon walks along Binondo-that's what i miss the most. i miss the smell of freshly steamed hakaw filling the air, the soft clackity clack of the horseshoe on the pavement, the taste of freshly imported peaches and plum that the vendor will give you for free just so he can make a sale. i miss wearing a simple white shirt and my fave work jeans to that trip. walking along the estero where i catch a glimpse of the stir fried crabs while the other cook is busy trying to catch the catfish on their aquarium. i miss passing by the hopia factory near san lorenzo ruiz church, where i used to get buchi for a fraction of the cost. i miss mary's old resto, eng lay hiong, where i would have ta mi and chicken and peas. ta mi is dried crunchy noodles. the noodles are boiled in spicy beef broth, so the noodles take in all the flavor. then, they are sauteed with beef strips and a pretty damned good sauce. i miss the Chinese flavors and sounds and tastes. i miss everything Chinatown.

blah

i am so tired!
i just got back from an appointment. thank god for that small clinic next to us. i love the doctors there. they're pretty sweet. since it's a pretty small clinic as well, i got accomodated right away. i wanted to check if i had dengue. apprently, i just had some major stress issues. and i was pretty dehydrated. i was having the chills, it was pretty cold the whole night. me wearing nothing but a silk top and some shorts didn't help either.
saturday night, i was pretty tired. i had to floorwalk, and plug in to my kids. one of the people i had to plug in to was s!, don't give me a weird look, that's her nickname. her real name is sandra. anyhow, sandra has a problem with her AHT. when everyone is hitting 270 seconds, she would have an AHT of 400+ seconds. that is a problem for us. it's pretty impossible to certify someone with that high an AHT. i told her that she would have to be pretty straightforward from hereon. when asked when was the account opened, just state the date. her talk time is pretty high. i was begging for someone to push her to the limit and find time to just coach her on how to avoid getting that AHT. oh well, i'm pretty confident she'll hack it. we have a couple of more weeks to go. yeah, i know, we're all pressured to get everyone to be certified at this point. but, hey, i'm pretty optimistic. tonight, i still need to take calls, and pay my stupid broadband bill which i just got tocday but was due oct. 1st. oh man, i really hate dealing with my broadband provider. the have the suckiest customer service ever!
i attended my best friend's wedding yesterday. i didn't have time to prepare. didn't even get to dress up, i was tired, sleepy and pretty damned feverish. we had to coordinate the wedding host, the sponsors, usher people in their seats. it was pretty embarassing that while everyone was wearing a dress, i was wearing a suit-yeah, a power suit, a light blue blouse and black slacks, all sloppily hanging on my shoulder cos i never had time to check if they all still fit. apparently, i need a new wardrobe, thanks to losing weight. hay, naku! gastos na naman. that wasn't the most embarassing part though. the most embarassing part was being called for the bridal bouquet toss. i hate being on stage and thank god, i wasn't at all needing the bouquet. not that i never want to get married. i'm just saying that getting married was not something you get off chance... it's a decision you have to make everyday that the man you love is the one you're gonna wake up with every morning and the one you'll make sweet love to every night, someone to share your life with, someone who will make you mad, crazy and will probably confuse the hell out of you but will make you love him more.
my bestfriends are wonderful. they are the source of a lot of craziness on my end. they have been encouraging me with everything that i was going through. i have never appreciated them more than i did yesterday. they were both looking forward to the day that they will be the ones saying i do. when they got to me, and asked me when i will be even trying to get a date, i just smiled, and said it's not important now. what's important is that i am happy being single and not expecting anything from anyone. i am really happy. yeah, sometimes, i dream of a wedding to the man i love. it doesn't matter where and how it's done, i guess, a wedding is not complete unless it's the marriage you're celebrating. maybe in the next 10 years or so. haha. weird how one person's life event can actually make you question your life. ako, wag muna. i need to work on things-a lot of things.
did i mention that i hate my broadband? haah! well, that's something to work on. i need to be more patient with my people. and i need to be more appreciative of what's being offered to me. well, someday, i'll figure it out.
i am at a standstill, a blah in my life. i want someone to share it with and someone who's sure that he will be ready for what i can dish out. i guess having someone with me won't make my life less of a blah, but it's going to be pretty colorful. i want someone who can love me for who i am. hay naku, sana, someday... Ü

the day that was...

after 2 hours of trying to get to a tech support person, i finally gave up the fight and tried to fix my broadband problem myself.

voila, after 1 hour of tinkering with the security, IP addresses and DNS linkages, i finally got to where it is supposed to be. i hate my broadband connection. i just need it cos i am working and at the same time, i'd really like to keep in touch with people i value a lot. friends overseas, over other call centers, my best friends ever and to update my blog.

tonight, instead of taking calls, i'll be floorwalking and doing the feedback for my batchmates. paniwalaan kaya nila ako? i think i'm pretty good at giving real time feedback. well, i wasn't gonna be released from the QA department without getting at least an idea of how the modified sandwich model works. see, to motivate someone, you need just the right amount of rapport, expertise and just a touch of charm. now, i am not one to brag but i think, but i think i've got the rapport thing to a T. charm and expertise, well, i gotta learn that.

well, today i cried. not cos i was sad, but because i realized that i'm not ready to push my buttons yet. i realized that things about me would have to change and some sacrifices - huge sacrifices would have to be made in the name of the one thing i want the most. i realized that i may not be mature enough to handle the power of what i feel, nor am i strong enough. the beauty of this? i'm learning my weaknesses so i can pursue my strength, so i can be more mature, much stronger.

i've just been called an unofficial girlfriend. hmn... it doesn't sound right. well, it may not sound right. but honestly? i have never been this excited, this perplexed, this amazed at how i can smile at my reps and still find time to call him. i've never had a phone bill this high since, well, ever since! hehe! nonetheless, i'm smitten and every penny spent was well worth it.

wish i was a goddess. i'd be minerva, goddess of wisdom. ok, so she's roman, but i have always wanted to command muses and inspire the world, feed the multitude, advise and counsel, cos only in wisdom can you find peace and security, sanity and truth. a goddess also gets what she wants. and guess what i want right now... i want some toolz.

cool change

i have switched my blog to the new beta blogger. it's pretty interesting. i love the new template and all the other services that i may have through this new platform.

yes, it's 2PM and i haven't slept at all. funny how there's so much you want to do and sadly, there's not much time to do it.

so, i sign off with the hope that i can do justice to my pretty cool blog.

and you said

you once said i was your salvation
your freedom
once your pain
once the one thing that stopped you from reality

i don't want to stop you from living your life
i don't want you to stop living because of me

you once said you loved me
you claim that now it is true again

i never stopped loving you
i never stopped believing that in this life, you will look at my eyes again
and you will see that i never lost track of you
even at the point of breaking down
reaching rock bottom
and having to pick myself up again
i never stopped wishing that you were with me

now you said that you want me to wake up with you every morning
and you want me to sleep with you every night

and that's the final dream

i will be content just knowing that you are there
knowing that somewhere halfway around the world
you are laughing, eating good food, planning out of town labor day trips
driving through the breeze as you cruise along the freeway

but now
you're giving me this chance
you're giving us a chance

i can't ask for anything more
i can't want anything else in this life

and you said that you do feel strongly for me
and you said that we need to work things out

things need to change
i need to change and so do you
i need to see you for who you are now
i need to find the truth that lies beneath your eyes
inside your heart

i've said time and again
i can't find the words to express what i really feel for you
but know one thing for sure
i said that i'll wait lifetimes to find you
and my soul will not rest until i do
and if this lifetime was meant for you and me
then peace has come to be

in a world where everything was meant to shift
and you said that everything has been real for you
then i close my eyes and pray
cos to you i have no recourse but be yours forever
to believe that someday i will see you for all that you are
and me?
you will see me for all that i am

the princess speaks

i am a sad princess.
why? here's why...
i am trying so damned hard to quit smoking. i was told that if i just eat something everytime i feel like smoking, i'd be over smoking. what happened is now i look pregnant thanks to gaining almost 5 pounds in a week. i was told that i could decrease my smoking by decreasing my stress. guess what? nbot gonna frigging happen. i was told that if i just have more sex, then i'll finally stop smoking. tell you what, not gonna effing happen. haha!
for someone who gained 5 pounds, i'm in dire need of clothes still. one of my trainers, bogs, has noticed that i have been losing weight. well, try going through what i'm going through, let's see kung di ka mangayayat! i couldn't get to a starbucks, couldn't find a nearby KFC and the nearest pancake house is a good 20 mins away. i just can't believe that eastwood is so near yet so frigging far away. everyday, i settle for a half cup of rice and some weird viand that the canteen has prepared, which i normally beg gary or neil, one of my teammates to finish for me. the only time i get to eat something properly cooked is when i get home. and usually, i would rather lounge and smoke or lounge and watch jerry springer, or oprah or ellen or whatever the hell talk show is on. sometimes, i get to watch a pretty good movie. i'm waiting for "never been kissed" to be shown on HBO. i am dying to see a chick flick. i got most of the drew barrymore chick flick collection - charlie's angels, home fries, riding in cars with boys, 50 first dates, fever pitch, but for the life of me, i can't find "never been kissed"! kainis...!
so, i just called sun cellular's service. damn, i was about to complain about the service interruption that i got when i was stuck at home flooded, cold and alone. i was gonna call and check on my sweet mom, when i noticed that my signal was nowhere to be placed. this by the way, was when i was sitting outside the house, next to the mini garden that my mom has-yes it's a covered walkway, in case you're wondering. wow, wala na ngang kuryente, wala pang sun. pakshet! i was about to threaten to cancel, cos lord, the service really sucks, when i decided to check on the bill first. see, i just finished my one year with sun and i'm about ready to get into a fight with a manager, but of course, i wanna make sure that my account was in good standing first. so, upon getting to a rep,my first question was, what's my running balance? knowing fully well that i have called a canadian number and talked for a whopping 40++ mins, i knew it should be around 5000++ which isn't really a problem. i was ready for that. imagine, having to pay only 10 US cents per minute. ok, that still isn't cheap, but oh my lord, it was probably the sweetest deal ever. i'm never gonna lose this service, ever! i activated the IDD on this line a long time ago, but i never got to use it. i was thinking, in the event that i needed to be out of the country, and i need to get in touch with my family, i'll leave the phone behind or if my dad needs to go to china or hongkong, we can use the number and call him up.
btw, can anyone hang you upside down and tickle you until you pee on yourself? just a funny thought that crossed my mind, right, hun?
well, the princess is sad again cos she needs some rest and she thinks she disturbed her prince charming. the princess hopes he's ok. and the princess wants to let the prince know that she is pretty sorry for being selfish. maybe, the princess should be dethroned and become someone normal and average from hereon.

21 questions

what am i to you?
why are you confusing me?
what have i done to deserve all this pain and suffering?
how can i be so sure that you are telling me the truth when i have heard this all before?
why can't i forget you?
how can i move on from this?
am i making the right decision?
why do i care so frigging much?
am i right to want you in my life?
did you come here to just punish me?
how can you hurt me and love me at the same time?
are your feelings for me real?
is it all worth it?
would you fight for me?
should i fight for you?
should i even be thinking of you?
are you thinking of me?
do i make you happy?
do you make me happy?
did all that happen and now i am just to let go?
am i that in love with you?

outage

4 days without any power. have you ever imagined living in your place without any electricity, any source of light coming from anywhere?
gusty winds from a super storm toppled a post near my place. going to work friday evening, the cab i was riding almost crashed to a huge tree stump lying in the road. as we almost hit that stump, a huge branch fell just a few inches next to the car, almost hitting my side of the seat.
yes, business as usual. despite heavy winds, high fever, earthquakes, landslides, death in the family, we have always tried to hold our heads up high and take pride in our work.
this just shows you how ready you should be for anything and everything.
no expectations of anything good, just expecting the worse. for any outages, any unseen tragedies.. just stay business as usual.

i interrupted

in a rut

project arizona has never been this exhausting!

yes, being a boss has never been this taxing. i have to get certified by arizona so i can effectively teach, train and manage my people. so, i have been taking calls-lots and lots of calls. yesterday, i took a total of 103 calls for a span of 6 or so odd hours. today, i took 98 calls for 5 or so odd hours. this entire week, i need to maintain an average handling time of 250 secs, a QE score of 85% and a 100% HOC free call. i am set to fight off several sites in the future and apparently, the best way to manage your team is to also go through everything that they go through. yes, let's go to specifics. project arizona is prety complicated. we're talking about billing, inquiries, account reconciliation and setting up investigations. most are done through a web based tool, but most of these things are done through a black screen tool that's DOS-based. i thank my mom for pushing me to learn DOS back then. well, it's pretty easy, but i have to say, it is pretty hard to keep your cool when you're about to go haywire on a customer. i remember one call i had earlier, some weird dude wants everything he charges to be put on a revolve balance portion of his account. well, his type of card works in such a way that he has to pay everything he charges on it in full. he kept pressing on me to transfer all charges from here on to be on that revolve portion.. me, not knowing when to keep my big mouth shut... "well, if you wanted a minumum payment, sir, why didn't you just sign up for some other credit card?" ouch, that's gonna hit me bad if some of my bosses were to hear that.


the breakfast club

i had breakfast with joyce and reese yesterday. boy, i felt so dizzy after smoking a lot of winston lights. wala na kasi mabilhan ng yosi. i was so craving for pancakes. i had to drag them both to pancake house. sarado pa. and the manager kind'a kicked us out. so in lieu of great pancakes and bad service, we went to the place with great service and a decent plate of breakfast heaven- heaven and eggs in eastwood. i totally enjoyed my salted vinegar ribs. joyce had the breakfast plate of sausages and eggs and reese had the kiddie meal. man, after that, i was craving for the mango crepe ala mode i saw in the menu. since i was really craving, i can not let it go. i was just a bit disappointed that the mango was tart.
joyce and i had to talk about a lot of things. i was concerned that she was taking everything that was happening to the team seriously. joyce is the trainer/facilitator responsible for the batch that i belong to. we have been having problems - personal issues, certification problems, etc. india was jumping the gun on our QE scores and we had to compete in our customer satisfaction ratings. reese though, was just having the time of his life, hanging out with his two ate's. joyce being the diyosa, and me being "mother meg".... think he's starting to get a crush on rey. how would i know? he would always bounce off me a guy that he thinks is hot... take into consideration dodjie.. niko and now, rey. hay, reese, we need to have a good talk about my love life, stop finding me men that i'll never look at and will never like. well, i kinda like rey. haha!

today, i had breakfast with gary and glysa. i had a plate of beef brisket on rice at chowking. i didn't realize how hard their carrots are, and how salty everything was. after that, i was begging for someone to give me a glass of water. we saw two dogs at the rooftop of chowking, and i forgot how much fun it would be to give those dogs voices... so, i was just hinting that me and gary do exactly that. i started with, "panu kaya kung nagsasalita yung mga aso?". after giving me a weird look, he started to join the fun.
Me (voicing a dog that was on all fours and wagging his tail): Pare, chill dito no? sana may yosi tayo.
Gary (voicing a dog that leaning over the ledge and looking desperate for someone to help him): Pare, paano tayo bababa dito?
Me (still on that dog): Pare, chill ka lang, kulit mo. Mamaya na tayo mag-usap tinitignan tayo nung dalawa dun o! (pertaining to me and Gary)
to which we were interrupted cos of a long overdue glass of water.
yup, trying to cut back on the carbonated drinks now. next thing i'll be cutting on would be my coffee intake and next year, watch out, smokes... you're about to be removed. haha! been trying to quit something my whole life, but i guess breakfast with great friends won't ever go away. yup, and making dogs talk without them knowing it!



unanswered questions

yup, there are questions asked of me earlier that were really hard for me to answer. one was from botchie, my resident hothead rep that was caught blind transferring to escalation earlier. "do you think paalisin nila ko, mother meg?" hay, all i could do was hug him. told him not to worry, and told him, that his sup will fight for him. i almost cried. botchie is one of the people that i have wanted to be certified with. i could see a lot of potential in this guy. but he would be charged with a grave offense cos everything was done in purpose. even i wouldn't have a say in things cos we're talking about vendor relations managers and operations managers wanting to get rid of him cos of a formal complaint launched from the HQ of arizona.
gary asked me earlier, during my first 30-minute break "how do you know that you love someone?" to which i replied "if you know that every little thing you do, you want to do with someone and knowing that it will never happen, you still wish and pray to god everyday that it will". he laughs at my answer and kicks my shoe and says "ang corny mo naman,pucha!". i never really gave him my answer. my answer is simple...when what you feel is unconditional.


i interrupted

yes, i am interrupted. i'm looking forward to my rest day tomorrow. oh god, i have never wanted to go on my restday like this for quite sometime now. i need to get in touch with my bank and set up that stupid dollar deposit that has been long overdue. i need to get in touch with a citizenship consultancy firm. i want my mom to enjoy either the benefit of being American or Canadian. i see that not a lot of docs here know what they're doing. and i am frankly disgusted with the brand of medicine that is being practiced here. my mom has gone through several x-rays, mri's and other tests. no one can still atest as to what her sickness is. i know it's osteoarthritis. but apparently, no other doc wants to confirm that. i mean, come on, are we gonna wait for her to shrivel for us to know what the hell is wrong with her? i am starting to question the past diagnoses of my illness too. i read online that women with polycystic ovarian cysts can still have kids, cancer patients can have permanent remissions, viral diseases have cures and osteoarthritis can be alleviated with discs. so, knowing fully well that most of the people i love have been afflicted with these diseases, why i am still here. if my lola had good care, would she have died? if my aunt had some help, would she have fallen ill and left us? if my mom had just some good docs, would she be in so much pain?