Big Girls Don't Cry

It was a sick day for me. Missed work and even had to really sleep so I would feel much better today. I did everything I could to feel better and yet nothing was really gong to help. Mom made me warm soup which made me feel better for a few hours...enough until I can crawl back to bed with Mr. Chubbs near my pillow as I slept.

It has been so long since I got to taste mom's cooking. I have often wondered how I would be as a cook. She made me fried chicken nuggets and a fresh bowl of nido soup. Okay, okay, so they were like not homemade. And yet eating with her again made me feel like I was home, and not eating in a resto or a fastfood chain somewhere. It made me feel like I was eating something she cooked.

I have been too busy chasing a dream in the early years of my career. I wanted to have it all. I wanted to be a manager. I wanted a salary that I can boast of. I think I deliberately stayed out of my life so I can earn big bucks and to prove to my former bosses that I was "management worthy". Later on, I became known as a micromanaging bitch who couldn't smile if it would save her ass.

Now... I just want to be able to live a stress-free life and not be bothered by all the crazy things I ought to be doing. At the ripe old age of 26, I think I have seen most of it. All the egoistic, maniacal business practices of former companies I've worked for...how people can actually back stab you when all you want to do is earn a decent pay, when people control you into thinking that they can change a huge chunk of your integrity. At the end of the day, you only have yourself to answer to and you need to stick with a little bit of your integrity.

Career choices have been made. I turned down position after position after position since I got this job. It wasn't even about the money. Cos believe you me, it sometimes is more of the things I feel when I'm inside the four walls of the office that sometimes matters.

Now, just like Terri, can't wait to get back to work.