I got a splash of cold water when my friend confessed she was slightly having an affair with a guy she met in on of her business trips. Apparently, the man is well-educated, schooled internationally with a degree to back him up and an amazing connection with her. I was pretty thankful that I got to chat with her over a cup of coffee and smokes.
She understood that it was wrong. And she was begging me to stop it for her.
What was I to do? Shoot the guy? Rough him up? Pay him a million dollars to never see her again? I played the therapist part. I love asking questions about people and what the heck is going on in their minds. So, I stuck with the Meg routine and decided to just ask the really important question.
Why?!
And I got the most proverbial and cliched answer ever...
"No spark..."
Oh well, if you put it that way...
I was thinking that the guy had been irresponsible and horrifying, or maybe he had been an unfaithful slob who'd beat her up... but when he's a bore, well...
That's not really enough reason...
I think that sometimes, women have this tendency to become insatiable and discontented with what they have. They always see movies that remind them of how men can be so amazing and sweep them off their feet. No one tells women that after they've been swept off their feet, they'd have to fight for their love with every breath they take until the day they decide to throw in the towel. Every day is a struggle and a conscious choice to fight for the love you feel. Whether it be an ember lightly lit, a smoldering fireplace hearth or a smoking 3-point alarm fire. Passion fuels the love but you can't run on passion alone.
I think people equate love with lust, with fervent and wanton desire. I think it definitely brings something to the table but is not the essence of finding someone. I gave her an analogy...
Relationships are like newly-painted Faberge eggs. The sparks should be just what's outside - that enamel coating that just makes it look all shiny and cute. But what should be inside - the gemstones, those are worth so much more. It could be anything - your love, your affection, your trust, your commitment... whatever it is, it's good to want the enamel cos it's what somewhat envelopes all those gemstones, but when the whole thing is broken, it's senseless to pick up the enamel. Go for the gemstones.
I'm one to talk eh? I wasn't preachy... I tried to be away from the whole thing. It's just that it's necessary to set her straight. She begged for it. I wasn't gonna let her go until she saw it my way.
She promised me she's talk to him.
Well, we'll see...
She understood that it was wrong. And she was begging me to stop it for her.
What was I to do? Shoot the guy? Rough him up? Pay him a million dollars to never see her again? I played the therapist part. I love asking questions about people and what the heck is going on in their minds. So, I stuck with the Meg routine and decided to just ask the really important question.
Why?!
And I got the most proverbial and cliched answer ever...
"No spark..."
Oh well, if you put it that way...
I was thinking that the guy had been irresponsible and horrifying, or maybe he had been an unfaithful slob who'd beat her up... but when he's a bore, well...
That's not really enough reason...
I think that sometimes, women have this tendency to become insatiable and discontented with what they have. They always see movies that remind them of how men can be so amazing and sweep them off their feet. No one tells women that after they've been swept off their feet, they'd have to fight for their love with every breath they take until the day they decide to throw in the towel. Every day is a struggle and a conscious choice to fight for the love you feel. Whether it be an ember lightly lit, a smoldering fireplace hearth or a smoking 3-point alarm fire. Passion fuels the love but you can't run on passion alone.
I think people equate love with lust, with fervent and wanton desire. I think it definitely brings something to the table but is not the essence of finding someone. I gave her an analogy...
Relationships are like newly-painted Faberge eggs. The sparks should be just what's outside - that enamel coating that just makes it look all shiny and cute. But what should be inside - the gemstones, those are worth so much more. It could be anything - your love, your affection, your trust, your commitment... whatever it is, it's good to want the enamel cos it's what somewhat envelopes all those gemstones, but when the whole thing is broken, it's senseless to pick up the enamel. Go for the gemstones.
I'm one to talk eh? I wasn't preachy... I tried to be away from the whole thing. It's just that it's necessary to set her straight. She begged for it. I wasn't gonna let her go until she saw it my way.
She promised me she's talk to him.
Well, we'll see...
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