nothing makes sense. i still love you. and this thing inside me, this thing called a heart? i would pay a million dollars to have it removed if only i could choose to not love you. even for just a day, just for a moment.
if you only knew how much i love you, you'd say you're sorry. you'd want me back. you'd ask me to be with you. but you don't even know my name anymore. and you won't even care... i asked you not to talk with me. and it was only to protect what was left of me... but i'd choose to lose everything if i could have one minute to see you smile.
god, take my heart away. leave no feelings. leave no love. i need to be ruthless. i need to be just. i need life. i need truth. i need a little preservation. and god, please, spare me from this pain. i would kill for a little happiness right now. i would rather feel nothing than go through this infernal emptiness that haunts me every single day without him.
it's been a month... and every single one of those 2 million odd seconds reminds me of you. your voice, your smile, your beautiful eyes that seem to pierce through me and tear at my very soul. i shared your love for a while. i shared your soul. if there's anything, anything at all that could lead me to you, please show me the way. i don't know how much more i could take without you by my side. i live a happy life but without you, i feel so empty and so lost.
i die everyday. i lose a piece of my self everyday. i lose my way every minute. and every road i take still takes me back to you. please... please... please, give me that one more chance, that one more chance to be with you. i need you.
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