what you've missed

i was out and partying the whole weekend! god! it was so much fun to be out with your bestfriends again!

it was cym's birthday celebration. i was so happy to just hang out with her and her hubby, but i got my shoes knocked out of me when everyone in the berks joined us. i haven't seen my old pal jack for the longest time! i miss his jokes and his crazy antics. he actually spent the whole night monday with me. we had so much fun watching the videos we took in red box. oh, and i really can sing, apparently!

irish and chloe have been my pillars for the longest time. cym has been there too and i love her to pieces for that, despite being pregnant and infanticipating with rix. i have never had so much fun though! i was laughing and drinking and having tons of amusement over everything! i just couldn't imagine life without them.

chloe gave me this wonderful book that i am still reading. it aims to make me understand life's craziest questions. i couldn't get enough of it. also, chloe set up a boot camp for me. i was in her house for two straight nights! we had a sex in the city marathon! oh god, i love that show! i couldn't get enough. think i wanna buy the whole damned show on DVD. wait, jack is getting me that show on DVD.

anyhow, tin's friend has been viewing my friendster. god, he looks like vin diesel! it's kinda freaky to be thinking about another man. i actually feel like i'm cheating. (don't ask me why, it just feels like i'm cheating.) but there's a fun tingly feeling inside me. somebody thinks i'm gorgeous. (yup, he actually said so. one look at my friendster pics and he goes "she's beautiful..." or so that's what tin said. god, i've never been called gorgeous before... well, not unless somebody needs something from me, like a TNA report or a full statistical analysis of something.

and there's this guy at work i've been crushing on. he seems nice and safe. but i think i'm gonna reserve that for later. no need to go boy-crazy. i'm just simply in the process of casual dating.

everybody thinks i should hook up with someone they know. it might be too soon. but i'm not taking any chances. i wanna have a family soon. and i wanna get married before i turn 30! why? i don't know. it's this horrible biological clock. uhm.. ok, maybe not the clock. it's this huge empty feeling. like something's been vacated and i want something to fill that void.

so goes my question. why do you always focus on things that you don't have?

that's so carrie.

anyhow, seriously, with no apprehensions, i can honestly say that i am not looking for love. i am just looking for someone to get laid with!

another joke.

i need some time off from any man. i just wanna spend time with my friends, and with myself. although at the rate i'm going, i can't even spend one night alone at home. everyone is always dragging me somewhere. and it's freaking driving me nuts.

like my friend reg decided to bring her pal dante along to have lunch with us today. i went to their apartment after and got an invite to one of their parties. they promised me a guy that i can hook up with after the party. hmn.. sounds enticing. maybe i'll pass and give it a few more months though. (i know you're both reading this! haha!)

my career is kinda heading down low. it seems sick that i wanna add more pressure to my already mundane life, but hey, i am all about the pressure. meeting up with reg and dante gave me access to paul, a guy who works for a consulting firm. and so to quote my fave gay childhood icon: i am ready!

ending my monday night (actually, tuesday morning), someone gave me the sweetest advice. think of what you've missed. think of things to come. someday, you will be with someone who's worth everything, and will ask for nothing.

i kind of agree.