Engaged

I am not going crazy... but...
A few hours ago, I actually dreamed about something weird.
I dreamed that I was in this house a Spanish ancestral house with huge Capiz windows. I remember seeing rose petals everywhere. As if there was a romantic party... There was a wonderful buffet on an elongated table covered in white cloth.

I was walking towards the huge wooden stairs when I saw Jeoff walking with his ex-girlfriend. The ex looked amazing. She was wearing a red dress, tight against her body. It was silk. Very lavish. He was wearing a suit. And they were walking together. His arm held out like a military man, her elbow I'm sure, slightly hurting his side, but he seemed so happy....

I was wearing a white dress. Not a wedding dress, just something I might wear to a nice party. I remember him saying something like please go away. This is my engagement party.

I was turned away...

I wasn't crying or anything, but I grabbed his hand and gave him back the iPod he gave me. I was looking at his face. He seemed so different. His hair was different, his skin, his face... Yet he felt like Jeoff. I remember thinking that the man was not even Jeoff...

He yelled and said "Damn it, Meg, stop running after me..." He threw the iPod to me and it landed on my shoe. I then remember a slightly older woman dragging me away from Jeoff and the ex. She seemed so mad because she was grabbing my hair and digging her nails into my arm, so I won't go back to the stairs. Jeoff and his ex then started making their way back to the guests.

I don't understand what it means. I remember waking up and not feeling sad but angry. I was really angry. No, we haven't had a fight. And no, I don't doubt that he loves me so very much. He says so, and shows me how much he does love me. And what really struck me is how different he seemed. It was like looking at another man, and it felt so weird... because I recognize the ex-girlfriend's face. But I know it wasn't him. Maybe that's why I was mad. I was fuming mad because I was scratching and kicking and clawing to get back to him. It felt like I was in twilight zone. He felt so different. His hair, his face and his eyes. I mean, everything was different yet similar and familiar... it looks like him but it wasn't him, or it felt like him but it wasn't him. Hell, I know this post doesn't make sense. I just thought I'd write about this.

What's weirder is that my man just made me feel so special today. I don't doubt that he loves me. Nor do I doubt that he's over his ex. But wow, that was some dream.