Lost

It's funny when you start off knowing where you are and end up in a sea of confusion...

I'm wondering if I've lost the magic touch. Back then, I'd be wonderful... Whenever I get into a new company, I'd be dazzling everyone with the touch of gold. All my ideas are valued and my skills are treasured and it makes everyone amazed. Now, for some reason, I am not getting everyone to go "Woah, she can't make water into wine, can she?!". I have been, for the past 3 days trying to understand all kinds of applications. I have been learning Active Directory, Oracle, Symphony and even Hyperion. Believe it or not, I am to support these applications in the next two weeks. I have several more applications to work on. Citrix being one of them, including VPN, and other such applications. I've never felt more lost...

It feels like I'm a fish out of water again. I am in a huge ocean of IT sharks and I'm the only guppy left behind. I am shark bait and I'm just waiting for the big bad ocean to give me that one shark that would swallow me whole. I got a 13/20 on my first assessment. Hell, it ain't even a passing mark. You know what? Hell I care, I got a good score. For someone who has never done tech support, I'm a really bad-ass candidate!

Well, the plan was really for me to go for it and in gung ho fashion...
I don't think I have the right to question my own decision. I studied the potential and took the time to research and fight my way into getting this job. I think I have the right to make mistakes and to learn from them. Well, little note to self, I'll do better the next time. I swear it!