Message in a Bottle

“It is at times like this that I know what my purpose is in life. I am here to love you, to hold you in my arms, to protect you. I am here to learn from you and receive your love in return. I am here because there is no other place to be."
-Message in a Bottle

Sometimes, you feel that you are born for a specific purpose in life.
Other times, you know you are.
There are some days that push you to remember the truth of what lies in your ideals. Your walls were destroyed for a reason beyond your comprehension. It lies inside of you.

Manila - Alabang - Eastwood in 5 Hours!

Yes, I did take the chance to be interviewed.
Yes, I am at fault.
Yes, I should have just stayed home and rested.
Yes, I just came from a very bad flu.

Oh but the offer was too good to pass up. I had to take a chance and see. As my dad puts it.. "At least, nakapamasyal ka".(At least you got to roam around).
The setting was in Alabang. It was so friggin' far, I left my house at 1:00 PM my time, to arrive to the destination at 3:45 PM! I was panting and tired and swollen (my feet were) when I got to the site.

The office was amazing! Sparkling glass doors. Pristine floors. I loved the restroom. They had an NYFD (New York Fries Department) inside the actual building! The Festival Mall was within a 15 minute drive's distance. Parking spaces available like there's no tomorrow. Amazing training rooms. Excellent mini-conference rooms. Friendly agents and even friendlier managers. I swear I died and landed in call center heaven.

But there was one weird bit.

It was one huge traffic jam after another to get there. Getting out of there was even worse. I can't find any cabs anywhere. I had to walk a whole kilometer to get to a post and watch jeepneys pass me by every minute and I don't even know where they're going. It said "Zapote". I don't even know where that is!

The problem is I'm a geographically challenged gal. I had no idea where I was at the time. I knoew my way home and to Eastwood but other than that... I had no friggin' idea where on earth I was.

I was freaking because my panel interview lasted for half an hour. I would have finished earlier had it not been for this weird dude who kept asking me about my management background.

All I said was "I came here for the training analyst post, not as a manager. I want to do corporate TNAs and develop materials again and to teach trainers to be good facilitators."

Oh well. When I was about to leave the mini-conference room, they asked me the question I dreaded the most. "Would you like to be a manager again?"

Quickest reply was "No."

I said "I came here for the training analyst post, right?"

And I left. Never to return again.

The Jeoff Widget

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http://www.myheritage.com/collage

Desperate Housewives and Philippine Med Schools

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I'm glad she's pregnant. I'm glad it's with Mike. Woot woot for Susan!

I've been a loyal fan of this show.

But they shouldn't be racists.

Nothing so cute and witty and even desperate about being Filipino and having a medical license from the Philippines!

Sign the petition to ask for an apology from ABC and the writers and producers of Desperate Housewives.

To: ABC
To the producers of "Desperate Housewives" and ABC:

We are writing to express concern and hurt about a racially-discriminatory comment made in an episode of Desperate Housewives on 9/30/07. In a scene in which Susan was told by her gynecologist that she might be hitting menopause, she replied, "Can I just check those diplomas because I just want to make sure that they are not from some med school in the Philippines."

As members and allies of the Filipino American community, we are writing to inform know that this type of derogatory remark was discriminatory and hurtful, and such a comment was not necessary to maintain any humor in the show. Additionally, a statement that devalues Filipinos in healthcare is extremely unfounded, considering the overwhelming presence of Filipinos and Filipino Americans in the medical field. Filipinos are the second largest immigrant population in the United States, with many entering the U.S. (and successfully passing their U.S. licensing boards!) as doctors, nurses, and medical technicians. In fact, the Philippines produces more U.S. nurses than any other country in the world. So, to belittle the education, experience, or value of Filipino Americans in health care is extremely disrespectful and plain and simply ignorant. Many of the hospitals in major metropolitan areas of the U.S. (and the world) would not be able to operate without its Filipino and Filipino American staff members.

As Filipino Americans and allies, we band together to ensure that this type of hateful message should not be allowed to continue on our television and radio airwaves. Given the recent amounts of media attention that has been given to Michael Richards (against African Americans), Isaiah Washington (against gays), and Rosie O'Donnell (against Asian/ Chinese Americans), it is ridiculous that this type of hateful speech made it through various screenwriters, the show's producers, the show's actors, and ABC itself.

We demand a public apology to the Filipino American community, and we demand the episode be edited to remove the ignorant and racist remark. We will not allow hateful messages against our community (or any other oppressed community) to continue.


Sincerely,

The Undersigned

I am signature 26521. Click this link to sign the petition.

Meet Joe Black

"Take love, multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of forever.. and you still have only a glimpse of how I feel for you."
-Meet Joe Black

Have you ever felt so strongly for a person that it breaks you so without you knowing it? It breaks your walls. It tumbles every ounce of your protection, your defense, your self-preservation...

Sometimes, you wake up scared in the middle of the night. Letting your mind wander what the hell you're going to do when you lose this glue that holds your fiber together and presses your ideals more. You're scared because you've let your guard down. Yet you have never felt safer.

Love is a continuous and fluid paradox. It lets you down, and lifts you up. It destroys you and builds you. It crushes you then protects you. Then when it is about to engulf you, it frees you.

Love is the infinity that takes all but a second to be realized.

Love is what I feel... and all I want is to drown in this love.

Look Alikes

A Customer's Worst Nightmare

Yes... I have fallen prey to the snazzy advertising and the cheesy theme about connecting to loved-ones abroad. Aren't we all suckers for that whole crap about connecting to people you care for the most?! At one point or another, you only want to make your life easier, hence my need to have internet connection at home.

I have been a loyal consumer of this broadband company. In fact, I was one of the oldest customers of this brand. Ever since they started their campaign, I have been loyally paying my bills, lining-up to get decent customer service and yes, even commenting on their forums. I even have a friend who works for them!

Last week, I was aghast! No internet connection! Meaning, I won't have the chance to see and talk with Jeoff who's MILES away. Did I ever mention how much I was looking forward to talking with him?! Well, I was! I was looking forward to it very much! I mean, it's bad enough we're not together, let alone not seeing each other, but OMG, those people from the broadband company didn't make it easy.

On Saturday, I was tasked to troubleshoot the connection with this agent named "Jasper Atienza" over the phone. And I was very very patient. I know what it is like giving instructions over the phone since I used to work as an Internet Service Guide. Oh dear! Damned thing is I knew how to manipulate the situation too. I asked for an immediate house visit by their technician and I wanted it PRONTO! Since I was just a few blocks away and I have been with their company for a year, so and so... Poor "Jasper" had to say yes, because I bet his AHT (Average Handling Time) was increasing due to moi.

Fast forward a few hours after, I called again. Some lame ass agent answered the call and said that she is seeing a report. I called for a supervisor. Wanting a direct quote from a supervisor. After 15 minutes of being put on hold, some supervisor named "Mike Revilla". (Why I'm so lavishly adorning my blog with their names is because I'm SURE these aren't their real names!) He promised me a visit this Monday. So I assumed things were going well.

Lo and behold, Monday came and the people didn't visit me on the supposed time. I set an appointment from 9AM - 12NN. People know that this means BEFORE lunch and it means WITHIN the hours of 9 in the morning until 12 in the afternoon. I called up and some dude which I didn't bother getting the name of answered and got all panicky and crazy. I was really pissed...

It's one thing to let people know of an estimated resolution time. It's another when you don't get what you were promised or what you were told. The agent said that if I could wait one more hour.

It was 2PM. I was getting mighty pissed.

"If you don't get your tech people here within the day, I swear, I'm gonna tell all my friends and my family and everyone else I know never to sign up for your lame ass service again..." I hung up and sat down. I smoked a stick. Ugh! So infuriating!

The tech people came at around 7PM. Time when I got to work.

My dad was messaging me the whole time. They want this and that and I couldn't attend to these question because I was busy!


When I got home, I needed to reconfigure a whole set of internet connections that they didn't use and the reconfigure the one they used. (READ: How many LAN Cards can you have in one PC? Apparently we have three!) After 15 minutes, I was surfing omce more...

I feel kinda bad now that I yelled at the customer service dude last week. It wasn't his fault. But it does get really tiring and really disappointing when people tell you things and they don't deliver. Especially when they place blame on someone or something (THINK: It's raining really hard, We have a lot of customers scheduled, etc.). I'm not saying I always do a bang-up job when I'm the one promising something. It just means that I try. Sadly, those people I spoke with were not even trying. They were probably willing to agitate me so I'd hang the phone up and just redial and I'd fall into the crack of the almighty telephone router system.

So whoever reads this and you're working for a customer service company or you're a customer-please, be nicer.

Cheap Thrills

Guaranteed to make me feel better about myself, a bad day or a bad week. Goes to show how cheap things can be... especially me!

1. Eating buttered toast at the wee hours of the morning while watching Fairly Odd Parents.
2. Lying down with my limbs stretched out - heaven for the body, I swear!
3. Having a glass of chilled red wine while smoking near your porch/garden and thinking of a great song.
4. Talking with the man of my dreams, lying in my bed, and imagining making-out with him.
5. Having a nice body rub (Think Essences' Lemon Sugar Scrub) and feeling my skin after a nice bath...
6. Fitting shoes on that would cost me a month's salary (Think Ferragamo or Prada)... doesn't mean I'll be buying it. It just means I wanna see how great it is!
7. Eating isaw and barbecue from the manong near the kanto
8. Having silk pillow cases - and they feel so good against my skin
9. Drinking a killer cafe latte that I made
10. Freshly-squeezed OJ when I wake up - 'nuff said
11. A whole mini-pack of Chocnut! Then I take a Celestamine after
12. Feeling the raindrops on my skin as I walk near the academy I work for
13. Being able to cook my pasta dish for my family
14. Hearing my man say that he loves me (Works everytime!)
15. Watching my afternoon Nickelodeon TV-thon (Fairly Odd Parents, Spongebob Squarepants, Lola and Virginia, THe Trollz, Danny Phantom)
16. A cup of coffee before work
17. Knowing that my friends all love me and care for me (I miss you guys!)
18. Taking pictures that make me look hot, even when I know I'm not
19. Reading a really good novel
20. Staring into space, thinking about nothing (Works amazingly when you just finished 20 hours of ceaseless documentation and styling and airbrushing your own pictures!)

The Twisted Net

The long and winding road of knowledge never ceases to amaze me.
In a span of a few minutes, I was able to edit a lot of things including an old resume template, my blogger template and an obsolete blog that I use to talk behind people's backs. Haha-I'm kidding about the last item.
All over the net, we get blogs from everyone - blogs about remembering, forgetting, understanding and some are just actual logs of a person's life. You can just imagine the wealth of knowledge you got in a teeny tiny box called a modem.
Sadly people abuse this knowledge and post really evil things. I was shocked by one blog that featured naked pictures of kids. I was randomly lurking (read: blog-hopping) when I chanced upon that site. I immediately clicked on "Report" and moved on to the next blog. That was not something I wanted to see or anyone else to see!
Child pornography is defined as any depiction of children in a sexual manner. It could be naked pictures of children, or children in sexual acts with grown men or also children. It is a form of sexual abuse and in all degrees - wrong, wrong, wrong! Morally, rationally and even mentally sickening!

In the Philippines, September 28th was declared "The National Day of Awareness and Unity against Child Pornography".

Help stop child pornography... Click on this link to report twisted images over the net.

The Chubbs Chronicle

I slept through the whole Fairly Odd Parents, Spongebob and Lola and Virginia toon-a-thon today. It was weird cos I usually have enough energy to stay awake until around 10.00am. It was weirder because I should not be really tired. I have just been really out of it lately.

Thank God for small favors eh? When I awoke, my Chubbs was there waiting for me. I woke up and hugged it tight. I know, I know, slightly juvenile and weirdly sad for someone my age to actually love a bear. But hey, this bear holds more love for me than most of the people I know.

Going back to my Chubbs story. Well, he's just so huggable and loving. I don't know...something about his eyes. I think it's great that Jeoff gave me this bear. I love it to bits.

I can't wait to get home and give it my huggles.



Who can resist?!

Meet Chubbs

I love Chubbs! Mwah!
Chubbs is a bear that Jeoff gave me. I love this bear. He is soooo cute!
Chubbs is officially my favorite bear! Mwah!

Unwritten

I love this song! Thanks to my seatmate Cara who got the Radio Blog link for me. It seems like the theme to almost any girl's life. Well, give it a rest, I still AM a girl...


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Unwritten
Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten,
Can't read my mind
I'm undefined
I'm just beginning
The pen's in my hand
Ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten, yeah

Oh, oh

I break tradition
Sometimes my tries
Are outside the lines, oh yeah yeah
We've been conditioned
To not make mistakes
But I can't live that way oh, oh

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inner visions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live you life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

(Gospel)
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inner visions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live you life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live you life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten


And yes, the rest is still unwritten. Tomorrow is still unsure but the future is how you make it and today is when it all begins. Let's begin...

I'll Manage

I started out in this company wanting to disappear due to the incredible pressure I felt from all the other companies I have ever worked for. I remember trying to pirate someone from this company... Wanting that person to work with me, not as a subordinate, but as an associate, because I needed someone strong in my company. The universe didn't smile upon that chance of working together. The universe seemed to have another thing in mind. I quit my job and decided to go back to school and start my very own drug distribution company. That person, in turn, decided to ask me if I would be interested in doing this job while earning my masters in Toxicology. It seems like yesterday.

It seems almost unbelievable that I have been here for one year. I have met incredible people along the way. I have met good people in almost every company I have ever worked for, but this has been one good ride. I almost fell off my chair when I noticed what date it was. It is now September... A good years or so ago, I was running my fingers through tons of paperwork, deciding on which school I should go to. Also, running figures on my Excel sheet, wanting the best drug distribution company to be set-up soon.

Due to so many changes in my life, I decided not to go through the business, not to go through going back to school. Long story short, I decided to be an ordinary employee with an 8-5 job and come home at the right time, have a good meal with my family and watch TV to lull myself to sleep. Although the money wasn't as good as my previous jobs, I think I was okay... I was doing okay...

I got bored. I got tired of what I was doing, and all I could do to entertain myself was to dwell on my former love - make up, clothes, I became a stylist at the same time. I would spend my entire Friday morning conceptualizing shoots and lay-outs and my weekends dressing, undressing and making people over.



That's the first mom I ever did make-up, hair and styling for. I think her name is Lyn or Raquel, of course, I don't remember anymore... Her pictures appeared on Health Today. I spent the next few months going through pegs - magazine cover shoots that would look amazing on magazines.

I didn't quit my job as an English teacher, I still went on. Finding the best solutions for my European students. Sometimes, it got frustrating as hell... Moving from one topic to another in a span of 30 minutes. My head mentally calculating the expenses for the next night-out...my brain seriously seeping out of my nose as my head spins around, looking for anyone to save me from the disruptive sound of my typing. Sometimes, you really want you students to learn and when they don't because of some weird circumstance, like inability to hear you, lack of practice, with which, they have full control over, it gets mighty frustrating...

It's almost a year now! Wow, I got over each and every insecurity. Before, I can't even tell the difference between "make" and "do". Now it's almost a surefire way of starting a good lesson.

I started wanting to disappear, now I can say that people somewhat respect my opinions. When I leave, I can say that I did my best and that I didn't cave in to the pressure, as I did the last two times I took work seriously. Now I can say that although I am visible to people, I am able to carry my weight in this company.

There isn't a reason in the world for me not to continue. But sometimes, I am afraid that there also isn't a reason to go on... If I could continue styling, and control each and every circumstance that comes my way, I will be the happiest person on earth! Sadly, styling doesn't allow yuou to progress in the corporate world. How else will I be able to afford anything without a good corporate job?

When my student asked me earlier how I'm doing. I didn't think of lying anymore.
"Tired", I said, my voice sounding really tired...
"Oh, that's not good..." he said in his thick German accent
"I said, oh, it's okay... I'll manage." I said, reassuring him that he was not the reason I was tired.
"Oh, I didn't know you can manage how your body feels!" he said, slightly amused that "manage" can be used in a variety of ways.
I moved on with the lesson, discussing "manage" in a variety of ways.

Today, I will be facing 5 more other students. All with their own needs, own perceptions, own ideals. As always, I'll manage.

The Magazine Article

This is the magazine article in French that saved my ass...

Half Life

HALF LIFE

I'm awake in the afternoon
I fell asleep in the living room
and it's one of those moments
when everything is so clear

before the truth goes back into hiding
I want to decide 'cause it's worth deciding
to work on finding something more than this fear

It takes so much out of me to pretend
tell me now, tell me how to make amends

maybe, I need to see the daylight
to leave behind this half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down

lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from time
of any kind

I keep trying to understand
this thing and that thing, my fellow man
I guess I'll let you know
when i figure it out

but I don't mind a few mysteries
they can stay that way it's fine by me
and you are another mystery i am missing

It takes so much out of me to pretend

maybe, I need to see the daylight
to leave behind this half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down

Lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from time
of any kind

come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
again

'cause lately something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life,
without you I am breaking down

wake me, let me see the daylight
save me from this half-life
let's you and I escape
escape from time

come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
come on lets fall in love
again

Blogthings Mania

Muppet Meg

You Are Scooter

Brainy and knowledgable, you are the perfect sidekick. You're always willing to lend a helping hand. In any big event or party, you're the one who keeps things going. "15 seconds to showtime!"

The Muppet Personality Test

I knew it, I ain't hot...

You Are More Mild Than Wild

You're confident, and you really aren't concerned with how "hot" you are. Other people's ideas of what's sexy don't concern you. And this is exactly what makes you attractive.

Are You Hot?

I ain't lusty either! Haha!

Your Lust Quotient: 37%

You are a fairly lustful person, but nothing out of the norm. You usually keep your lust under control, but sometimes it gets the better of you.

How Much Lust Do You Have?

I can work for the CIA and SD6! Haha!

You Are Elektra

There's really no superhero with more style than you. Because who could beat being sexy assasin ninja?

What Superhero Are You?

I have a dark side!

You Are 60% Good

You are a fairly good person. You strive to live a moral life whenever possible. You are usually kind, generous, and loyal. However, you do have a dark side that even you may not see. When it comes down to ethical decisions, you tend to take the path of least resistance. So you may end up lying, cheating, or engaging in other bad behavior... because it's just easier to do so. You are also probably: Conflicted and confused about the current course of your life Right now you are on track to being: A slightly crooked politician To be a better person: Break one bad habit - whether it's telling white lies or spending too much money.

How Good Are You?

If I was American...

Your Average American Name Is...

Betty Elizabeth White

What's Your Average American Name?

If Jeoff was American...

Your Average American Name Is...

Anthony Robert Johnson

What's Your Average American Name?

Wow! I am moral and loyal!

You Couldn't Cheat On Your Guy

Not that you'd want to anyway! You're incredibly loyal and honest... Definitely not the cheating kind.

Could You Cheat On Your Guy?

Woah, all from 5 questions?!

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves. Although you may have been hurt before, you tend to bring very little scars into new relationships. You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky. In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm. Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

Thalia!

Your Inner Muse is Thalia

You are most like this playful muse of comedy. Life is all about laughter to you, and you're a natural comic. You make people laugh until their sides split. And you're always up for some play time!

What Muse Are You?

All about the vitamins...

Your Relationship is Still Building Strength

You're relationship is fairly strong, but you're still working on making things solid. Make sure you're both treating each other with kindness and respect, even when things aren't going well.

How Strong Is Your Relationship With Your Guy?

Wahaha! I sure hope nobody ends up being my boytoy except one dude...

You Are Not a Gold Digger

You go out of your way to take care of everything in your life. Including money - which you've got plenty of, thank you very much. And you have no intentions of being a trophy girlfriend for some bald guy. Just make sure that hottie you met isn't scheming to be your boy toy! As a successful woman like you knows, gold digging goes both ways these days.

Are You A Gold Diggin' Woman?

I swear I answered this truthfully!

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself You're the perfect blend of independent and caring You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Are You a Good Girlfriend?

Hehe. Above average eh?!

Your EQ is 120

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

Wooohoo! Writing articles for a parenting magazine worked!

You Will Be a Cool Parent

You seem to naturally know a lot about parenting, and you know what kids need. You can tell when it's time to let kids off the hook, and when it's time to lay down the law. While your parenting is modern and hip, it's not over the top. You know that there's nothing cool about a parent who acts like a teenager... or a drill sergeant!

Would You Be a Cool Parent?

Shameless Advertising

Please get this magazine! I worked for MoneySense as their stylist, and my first cover shoot is now out! It took me a few months to get a really good gig and I wanna thank my editor and best friend Irish for this!



I styled Senator Pia Cayetano for the entire shoot and I would like to thank Lulu Castagnette (Glorietta) and Nike (Toby's Sports House) for the clothes. Huggles to Nicole Villaneuva of Lulu for the help!

MoneySense Magazine is out now. It's available at all National Bookstore outlets, Powerbooks and Dymocks.

Blogthings Addiction

I swear I answered this as accurately as possible! Do I scare men off? Apparently only sometimes...

You Are 32% Scary

You scare men off ocassionaly, but only very weak men. You're a normal woman. You're not perfect, but you're pretty darn close.

Do You Scare Off Men?

What kind of ice cream am I?

You Are A Chocolate Ice Cream Girl

Dramatic. Powerful. Flirty.

What Flavor Ice Cream Girl Are You?

Apparently, I'm pretty secure. I think ADD Boy has something to say about that... Haha!

You Are Mostly Secure

In general, you feel confident and together. But the wrong thing can happen, and all of a sudden, you're not feeling so secure. Luckily, your insecurities don't last long... at least, not usually. So the next time you're feeling insecure, try to snap out of it - and remember the confident woman you are!

Are You An Insecure Girl?

I can sue America!

You've Been a Little Ruined by American Culture

Whether you live in the US or not, deep down you're a little American. And there's nothing wrong with loving American culture, but it may have negative effects on your life. Slow down and enjoy what you have. Reconnect with life's simple pleasures. You don't need to be in a consumerist rat race. Life's too short to overwork yourself!

Has American Culture Ruined You?

And they say that I'm passive.. Well, I'm a roller coaster...

You Are a Roller Coaster

You live for excitement, adventure, and the most intense of thrills. Nothing is better than feeling you're truly alive, and you're willing to take risks to feel this way. In relationships, people often feel a bit nervous about what they're getting into... But generally, everyone enjoys the wild ride you take them on. Unless they stay with you too long - then they're apt to feel a bit nauseous! Your life has more low points and high points than most people's lives. But that's okay - you love them. You figure that a smooth ride is boring! Besides, you know that super high highs only come from knowing super low lows. You cherish every emotion you feel and feel it fully. Why deny what life is truly about? At your best, you are loving life and sharing your wild times with everyone you know. You are able to open your friends up to a whole new world of experiences. At your worst, you feel extremely disoriented and even a bit dizzy. There's only so much intensity a human (even you!) can take.

What Carnival Ride Are You?

I could be a nurse?! Cos I'm blue, ba ba dee ba da daa...

Your Inner Color is Blue

Your Personality: Your natural warmth and intuition nurtures those around you. You are accepting and always follow your heart. You in Love: Relationships are your top priority, and this includes love. You are most happy when you are serious with someone. Your Career: You need to help others in your job to feel satistifed. You would be a great nurse, psychologist, or counselor.

What's Your Inner Color?

Huh?

Start Hunting For That New Apartment

You two are ready to live together - and probably have been for a while You're a perfect match, even if you don't agree on everything What's important is compromise... a skill you and your guy have mastered So head out to Bed, Bath, and Beyond. It's time for your new life together!

Should You Live With Your Boyfriend?

I'm color blind!

You Are Not Prejudiced

Not only are you color blind, but you're also ethnicity blind, gender blind, and sexual orientation blind. You don't judge someone until you truly know them. And even then, you're probably reluctant to judge. You try to treat everyone equally. Everyone has a fair chance with you. Good job - there's not a prejudiced bone in your body.

Are You Prejudiced?

You'd still like me when I'm angry...

There's Not a Violent Bone in Your Body

You're cool and collected, even when someone really gets under your skin. And while you don't blow up when you're angry, you know how to express your anger calmly. You don't bottle emotions up or let them get out of control. For you, violence would never be an option.

Could You Be Violent?

This is kinda sad, but it's ok..

Wait Him Out...

He's not ready for marriage yet - but someday he probably will be. It's really your call to decide if he's worth the wait. If you've been dating briefly, he may just need to know you better. But if you've been seeing him for a while, he might be taking his sweet time. How to get him to commit: Play the field. If you've been dating more than six months (a year if you're under 24), then you two should be very serious. No ring on your finger? It's time to meet other guys. If he wants to keep you, he'll get more serious about you.

Is He Marriage Material?

As Told by Meg

My 200th post on this blog. How apt. I kinda wanted to make it sound philosophical and decidedly intellectual. However, I'm choosing something different for this particular post. I think I want to state what I have learned...in case I need to remind myself in the future.

I'm turning 26 in a few days, actually, in a few hours. Age is such a random number. It is an undeniable coefficient to the fact of life. OK, enough twisted talk. I mean it. Without this number, you ain't going nowhere. You can't buy alcohol from a convenience store, you can't fight terrorists in Iraq, you can't even buy acetone from a drugstore! Funny how people look at age as a signification of maturity and logical reasoning. Truth be told, I thought I was mature enough when I was twelve. Well, look at where it got me.

The age old question of life - what am I here for? I could come up with 10,000 reasons why I'm here. I could quote thousands of philosophers and come up with hundreds of dissertations as to why I belong in this earth. I could ask a thousand questions and yet come up with no answers. I get that. Ever wonder why people come up with existential angst that never exists? It's because of two little things. Questions and answer. And no pronic number can ever give you any satisfaction. You always have to come up with some brave new reason to come up and ask... People always ask what am I here for... when they basically mean, "Is this all there is to it?".

I could philosophize over how many roll-on deodorants you can use and you still sweat. It's a natural thing. No one has ever stopped homeostasis. People can suspend it, prevent it and even try to control it but life goes on. No matter how unsatisfied your ass is with the non-swivel chair in your office or the tougher than cow's hide faux leather seat cover of your couch. It never ends. The omnipresent existential angst is not "What am I here for?". It is "Is there all there is to it?".

Maybe people come to terms with their own mortality pushing forward. Age doesn't matter, it's just an age. I consult with the wisest people on earth and they say they own the wisdom. But people own youth too! People younger than I am risk life and limb for the biggest mistakes (pregnancy, car accidents, heroin addiction, career malfunctions - READ: Nicole Richie) yet they move on. They don't move on in the grandest and bravest way, yet they call the shots. Finding music in silence. Questioning fate as they move along. If I was risky enough, is there music in silence too?

Another let's get old policy is the idea of a family, of marriage, of life as a settled married person. I am going to be honest. I assume that all girls dream of a wedding they can boast of. A floating trail of jasmines and petunias as they walk down the aisle, with Prince Charming waiting patiently in the altar. Mouthing "I love you" as he raises your veil, and he prepares to kiss you as the priest says "You may kiss the bride". Well, every girl who's had a Barbie must have dreamed of this monumental event. Especially when the bridal Barbie came to the store shelves.



Fast forward 12 or so years after I stopped playing with Barbie dolls and the idea of Ken actually sweeping me off my feet, I am still dreaming of a wedding. I am not going to lie. I wish it will be with a good person, with a kind hear and a nice smile who can laugh with me and sometimes, yes, laugh at me. But now, I see it more as a marriage rather than a wedding. I see the long nights of working, trying to save up for a future... I see hours of labor in having a baby... I see occasional fights and bouts about who's to wash the dishes and do the laundry... I see two people trying to get it together not because they're the only ones left or that no one else is out there but because they chose each other and that they can make each others' lives complete.It never depends on love, because love is always a choice. A choice to love that person no matter what. You get high and hooked on a feeling but it's the holding on that counts.

Around late 1990's, which is my teen years, I gave up my incredible need to please people and thought there is just too much pain in wanting to please people, so I'll just do what I want. I went to the school I wanted, took up the course I wanted, had the friends I wanted and did everything my heart so desired. I dabbled in journalism, chemistry, arts, make-up, fashion and eventually, I learned what I wanted to do. I only wanted to be a wife and a mother. What am I doing to move towards that? Nothing.

I also learned that doing nothing does not necessitate a vegetative state. You become collected and pacified but never complacent and arrogant. One of the things that make you who you are is your ability to push things away and say that it's OK and that you are better than your worst day. And when you start to question what you have always wanted, remember that it has always been a weird sense of confusion that brought you your sense of light.


This is life as told by Meg.

And now I end another chapter. I am still learning and teaching in the story that is my life...

Top Faves

The Top Things
It ain't wrong to wish...

1. Jeoff coming home and giving me a kiss at the stroke of midnight, before the actual date of my birthday. Ok, this is just Über impossible, even for him, so scratch that! =p

2. Esprit For Life cologne... I love the way it smells! I like anything fruity and floral mixed. I also like Gucci Envy. I don't wear perfumes, so, the best bet is the Esprit For Life thingy. And it's cheapo! It costs 400 bucks a pop! (Ey, Irish, think you can get me this one?! Haha!)

3. Cafe Breton's Butter and Sugar crepes. I can eat 6 of them at a time! I don't need any other filling on my crepes. I just love the fact that everything in those teeny tiny sheets of milk and flour already tastes great! When I was with my editor, she recommended this treat, that came directly from the GM of Breton!

4. Heartstrings Bag. Ok, they are the perennially awkwardly-colored cloth bags that goes well with almost anything! (Especially if you are feeling so blah and you just really wanna wear flip flops and jeans and an oversized shirt to work.) I have a brown and orange one, and I have been looking for a brown and pink one. If one can find that for me, I would so love that! Please ring me up and I swear I'll double the price! Oh and if you can find ones made with denim or curduroy, I would just fall in love with that!

5. Lipglosses! Give me pale pink, ruby red and even gold and I'd wear them with pride. My favorite is CO Bigelow Apothecaries Mentha Lip Shine. It's clear and it's Über cool cos it freshens your breath as you put it on? Can anyone say double purpose?! Yum!

Well, that ends the list. :) Haha! Impossible. Well, I really just want number one. :)